Remember the times

Chapter 17

tw// self harm

"Jimin,what the hell-",his stylist,Jaehyu let out a scream as Jimin rolled his sleeves up to show her the aftermath of his breakdown,few days ago.They had a new concept photoshoot that day and there was no other option to him but to ask his stylist to help him cover the wounds and scars up with makeup.She had been helping him for the same for the past few years but eventually he had stopped.But these,these looked fresh and that worried Jaehyu .She pulled his sleeves down as she roughly dragged him into the adjacent room where the stylists slept.Now it was empty as all of them were working in the fitting room.She locked the door behind them.

"I thought you stopped",She snarled at Jimin who had the reason to feel ashamed.
"Noona,I-",he began but nothing followed.By then the stylist was in tears.She made him sit on a chair and knelt infront of him.Jaehyu had that motherly aura about her.She took both his hands in her and looked up at him.His eyes were brimmed with tears as he put on a failed attempt to hold them in.

"I thought you were okay",Jaehyu whispered as she folded his sleeves up.
"I thought so too",he said as a silent tear fell down his cheeks.

-

The boys were being too loud as usual and Jin couldn't even talk through his phone peacefully.He walked out to the garden throwing a cushion at Jungkook on his way.He listened as the concerned voice on the other side rambled on.Nervous and tearful.Jin occasionally said,"yes","Don't worry","I'll take care of it" and when the call was cut,for some reason he was angry and sad.Both competing to tame the priority of his emotions.He took a deep breath,he needs to calm down.

He walked back into the home to find the boys still blasting a song and jumping on the couch.He couldn't spot Jimin,where was he?
"Where's Jimin?",He asked to a hyper Hoseok who motioned upstairs.
"He's practising",Hoseok shouted over the music.Jin exhaled as he took the stairs in a swift motion.Near the Maknae's room,they had a small barely soundproofed studio for late night working which was mostly used by Yoongi,Namjoon or Jimin.The door was shut and Jin knocked at it vigorously.

Downstairs the song changed to a new one.

Jimin unlocked the door as Jin barged in and pushed him slightly back.Jin locked the door behind him.Jimin did not know what was happening,Jin proceeded to stop 'It's us' their new yet-to -be released single to which Jimin had been dancing to.

Once the music went off and only the faded version of  the song was playing in the background.Jin proceeded aggressively to grab Jimin's hand who flinched.
"Argh",He said as he pulled his hands away.But Jin wasn't the one to let go.His eyes grazed on the newly cut wounds,his heart ached.He was just a door away,he was always just a  call away and he didn't know.But Jin had always tried,always kept a close watch on Jimin.He sat by his sleeping self for hours making sure he didn't wake up scared and feel alone.He took him to doctor,keeping it a secret from others.He made sure Jimin smiled.How was he supposed to know that they were fake?
Jin did everything he could.Better than anyone could.

But when did this -

How did this -

Jimin said nothing,only the feeling of how much he failed his brother again pricked his conscience.Without warning,Jin pushed his shorts up that rolled up to his mid-thigh and the cuts were there too.Like a wild beast had clawed over his tender skin,the beast being Jimin himself.Jimin let out a hiss when Jin ran his hand over the wounds gently.Jin's eyes getting teary and no more air complied to make it into his lungs.He dropped down on the floor,helplessly.

He pulled his legs to his chest and hugged himself,letting out a burst of sobs at first and eventually shaking with no other sound.Jimin knelt before his brother,his own self  blaming to have hurt his Hyung.

Jin clutched his hair,his face red and his eyes swollen already.
"Do I mean nothing to you?",Jin managed to say through his uncontrolled tears.
"No..Hyung,it's not-"
"Don't you dare call me that",Jin snarled,a set of fresh tears wetting his cheeks.
"All ...all this f*cking time,I was made a fool..You made a promise,Jimin"

"Am..sorry",was all Jimin could manage .
"You have no love for me,not for any of us-"
"Jaehyu Noona called you,didn't she? I shouldn't have-",Jimin trailed off non-chalantly.

Jin raised his head to send a glare at Jimin.
"That's what you are concerned about,Jimin..that I found out ",Jin couldn't believe Jimin found it more important that he knew rather than getting better,"You f*cking promised you wouldn't do it,You told me you stopped."

"I lied",Jimin breathed,his voice barely heard.

A new song played.

"why?",Jin looked at his brother as Jimin got up and took steps away from Jin.Jin got up as well.
"Cause I don't deserve to live"

Those words Jin had heard over and over again.Those words to which Jin had always responded with,"No,Jimin.You deserve the world"
This time Jin said nothing,he scoffed instead.

"I am not enough,I deserve to die"
That ticked off something in Jin,Something snapped.He grabbed Jimin by his sweatshirt and shouted,"THEN GO DIE"

Jin pushed Jimin to the door,"IF YOU CANNOT SEE HOW MUCH WE LOVE YOU,HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU,JUST GO AND DIE.IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT AND JUST BE BLIND TO OUR LOVE,GO THEN-am tired..You just don't understand.How many-?",His voice cracked.

Jimin's hand hovered over the door handle and he said before leaving,"Hyung",his voice was very weak,"You told me I have no love for noone,I do but...not for myself,Am sorry that you are tired of me,I am too -"
with that he was gone..
Jin was shook.
No,he was not tired of Jimin.
That's not what he meant.
It wasn't what he intended.

Jin had lost himself for a while.He lost himself seeing his brother hurt but those hateful words lingered in the air,that bitter after taste in Jin's mouth remained.That words were not supposed to come out,they weren't even in his brain but how -

The music downstairs had died down,as Jin rushed down the stairs.The boys were staring at the front door.

"Jimin-",Jin said in a small voice.
"He left,Why was he crying hyung?",Hoseok asked,his eyes clouded with concern.Jin came down to sit on the floor.His head in his hands.
"Don't worry,It's just a small fight.He always takes a walk when he feels down",Yoongi tried to diffuse the tension.Yoongi clearly didn't know it wasn't a small fight.
"But why did he take the car? He's not good at driving",Jungkook said as he scooted over to Hoseok.

Taehyung pulled his phone out and dialled Jimin but he was on another call.With no luck,he leaned into the couch waiting for Jimin to come home.

-

Namjoon's phone rang loudly,literally screaming at it's owner to pick up,He had a bad feeling about this,His eyes darted to Jin sitting by the front steps,waiting for Jimin's return.The food he made for Jimin spreading it's delicious odour all over the room.

He smiled as he spoke into the reciever,"Yebuseyo -"
"Namjoonah....Jimin was met with an accident -"
That's when Namjoon's world came crumbling down.

A/N: Heyooooo,This chapter was so difficult to write cause you know obvious reasons.Well,now you know what had happened.We are near to the end,Hope you loved this my Babies..Take care and love you
Oh please share and vote.Also I haven't proof read ..
Leave comments pretty please