Title: The Fighter
Author: Elektrik_Sum
Genre: Action/Short Story
Summary: When he is forced to move back to Spain after his father’s crimes come to light, Daniel thinks he has narrowly escaped the hardships that are sure to follow. But he soon realises that Spain is where the real danger is at, where everything really started. Enemies are everywhere, who can he trust?
Daniel has never been fond of all the female attention he receives, but when one mysterious girl keeps making an appearance on the least likely of occasions, he has to forget his hate, and find out what she is up to. Who are the real enemies?
My view:
This author has a beautiful and almost poetic way of describing things. I found myself within moments of reading the start of this, absorbed into the slightly dark world of this young man and his pain.
The first two chapters of this story seem to be well written but with a few mistakes.
"Hello, my name is Nora," she said.
Is correct. Okay? This, is not:
"Hello, my name is Nora." she said.
"Hello, my name is Nora." She said.
The first one is always correct, alright? Please correct these minor mistakes. I also noticed that some full stops and other punctuation was missing at the end of the characters speeches. This is another false move, so please sort this out.
Otherwise, I found it quite a pleasant read and so far, it's been a promising start. Stay tuned kids, 'cause this could turn out to be pretty good.
Out of ten? Seven.
YOU ARE READING
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