oneshots // bsd

dazai

dazai took another drag of his cigarette, running a hand through his messy locks. the faint sounds of the city and the lull in action made his thoughts trail back to his old friend. was he watching him from above? is this what he was hoping for? was he proud of him? the agency gave him a better life than he could have ever hoped for, if only odasaku could see him now.

"what are you thinking about?" a gentle voice as quiet as a whisper pulled dazai out of his thoughts. his eyes met yours and he chuckled softly at the small glisten of curiosity in them. you reached out to touch his cheek with delicate hands, tentatively stroking him as if he were fine china.

"nothing, my dear," he responded with a voice just as soft as he leaned into your palm. one of his hands snaked around your hip, pulling you closer to him as you fixed the duvet around your bare bodies, "just reminiscing." he pressed a gentle kiss on the inside of your wrist, moving your hand away as you frowned but decided against asking questions, instead, you kissed a purple love bite on his neck soothingly, earning a soft moan.

sometimes, dazai wondered if he initiated this relationship with you in a feeble attempt to grasp onto some trace of odasaku, as you were his sister, but every chaste kiss, every lingering touch washed away his doubts. he loved you more than he thought he was capable of, and he felt that way about you before he was even acquainted with your dear brother.

"i love you," he murmured sleepily, rubbing circles into your hip with his thumb. drowsiness did wonders to ones self control, he thought as he buried his face in your shoulder.

"i love you." your words made him feel inexplicably overjoyed. hearing you say that made him feel as though some god somewhere heard his prayers and sent someone to free him of his despair, and your sincerity gave dazai some hope.

he looked up at you briefly before capturing your bruised lips in a kiss. your caress of his cheek, your body pressing against his, your lips against his, every touch you ministered made him feel safer in the embrace.

"you're surprisingly affectionate today," you mused, eyes trailing down to his lips before looking back up at him.

"what are you talking about? i'm always affectionate!" your lover whined, making you giggle softly. the chaos in yokohama seemed to still when you were with him, cuddling in his bed. dazai put his cigarette on the ashtray before moving so he was hovering over you with a smile. your fingers laced themselves in his soft locks, a confused smile on your lips. he quickly dived into your neck, peppering it with ticklish kisses, earning surprised giggles from you.

"d-dazai! stop!" you squealed, laughing uncontrollably as his fingers tickled your sides.

that's right, with him nothing else seemed to matter and you knew that feeling was mutual. when dazai was with you, his doubts were lifted off his shoulders, and he found a small pause in his hectic life, and that's all he needs.

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some fluff for y'all to start off uwu