oneshots // bsd

kunikida

notes: for @JuliaHak3

the man, kunikida doppo, turned in his sleep, slowly stirring away. he blinked at you tiredly, trying to register what he was seeing. "hello!" you greeted with a wide grin.

"who are you? why are you on my bed?" his voice was groggy with sleep.

"i'm a demon!" he closed his eyes again. "wait don't go back to sleep!" he groaned tiredly, looking back at you. "my name is d̸̖̳̲̫̉̔͂̍͝ê̵̮̼͕̟̦̺͉̑́͗͌̈́͜͝͠s̵̡̢̛͙͈̥̳̱͚̲̒̊͑͆ͅt̷̛̳̗̽̊̑ṟ̷̡̗͓̿̈́̒̈́̆͊̎̇͘ỏ̸̡̧̢̫͍̘̜̱̫̗͊̑͋̏͆̄͘͠ÿ̴̧̲̙͈̳̖͇͎́̄́e̶̛̼̫̬̪̦͛̊̈́͛̚̚͘͜r̷̨̲͙͆̋͆ ̶̧̰̝̳̘̟͛͗̈̍̐̍͐̃͊ͅo̵̟̅̅̓͛̂̽͊̊͘͠f̵̨̨̖̼̟̤̟̞̱͆͑ͅ ̸͉̋ẇ̷͚̼͉̫̤̣̻̿ơ̵̫̈́r̴̢̢̖͚͍̩͕͌͜l̶̬̙͔͙͖̪̈̚d̷̠̯̠̾̑s̴̺̠̺̮̽̿͌́̿͜ but you can call me [name]."

he didn't ask how you said d̸̖̳̲̫̉̔͂̍͝ê̵̮̼͕̟̦̺͉̑́͗͌̈́͜͝͠s̵̡̢̛͙͈̥̳̱͚̲̒̊͑͆ͅt̷̛̳̗̽̊̑ṟ̷̡̗͓̿̈́̒̈́̆͊̎̇͘ỏ̸̡̧̢̫͍̘̜̱̫̗͊̑͋̏͆̄͘͠ÿ̴̧̲̙͈̳̖͇͎́̄́e̶̛̼̫̬̪̦͛̊̈́͛̚̚͘͜r̷̨̲͙͆̋͆ ̶̧̰̝̳̘̟͛͗̈̍̐̍͐̃͊ͅo̵̟̅̅̓͛̂̽͊̊͘͠f̵̨̨̖̼̟̤̟̞̱͆͑ͅ ̸͉̋ẇ̷͚̼͉̫̤̣̻̿ơ̵̫̈́r̴̢̢̖͚͍̩͕͌͜l̶̬̙͔͙͖̪̈̚d̷̠̯̠̾̑s̴̺̠̺̮̽̿͌́̿͜ out loud. "why are you here?"

"don't you think you've had it too well, kunikida?"

"how have i had it 'well'?"

you ignored his annoyed grumble and continued, straddling his hips and leaning so close that your face was barely an inch away from his. "so how about we push your luck?"

"how about we don't?" the poor man just wanted to sleep, you were aware, but it was funny to see his annoyed, tired expression.

"come on, doppo, you're really going to turn this down? you can have anything you want, make a wish, any wish!"

"i'd rather not, can you please leave?"

"no; i'm not leaving until you make a wish." kunikida stared at you, unblinking and unreadable. without another word, he turned around, falling back asleep. you let out a surprised gasp. he feel asleep without even making his wish?

that morning, as the sun shone through the window, kunikida stirred awake. the man groggily thought back to his strange dream, with that strange woman. he picked up his glasses and almost screeched when he saw you sitting in a darkened corner of the room, red eyes glowing unblinkingly as you watched him. "good morning!"

"what are you doing here?!"

"i told you i'll stay until you made a wish, right?" he simply ignored you. "come on doppo, don't be selfish, i haven't had a good soul in over thirteen centuries!"

"well i'm using mine!" he looked down at his watch. "see? i'm already a minute and twenty three seconds behind schedule."

"how oddly precise."

"without precision everything will fall into chaos." you walked with him as he approached his was wardrobe.

"interesting; so what's your wish?"

"i said i don't have one." kunikida opened the door, getting ready to leave you in the but you simply materialised through the door.

"surely there must be something you want? eternal wealth? unimaginable power? knowledge beyond scriptures of the very essence of the universe? push your luck a little, doppo!"

"there's nothing that comes to mind, can you please leave?" kunikida noticed the strange stares he was getting.

"oh you're the only one who can see me so to other people you look insane!" your jovial voice made him want to punch you.

so, you ended up following him to the agency despite his incessant requests for you to leave. kunikida elected to ignore you as he continued his work, only to be bothered by dazai, strolled in late as usual. he ignored it, the day had been hectic enough and he didn't have enough energy to waste it on dazai.

"good morning, kunikida! you already look like you're dead inside this morning!"

"well, that's because you are, so he's not wrong," you piped in with a toothy grin. he simply glared at you.

"what are you looking at, kunikida? hello?"

"yeah only you can see me." kunikida looked back at his computer, finishing his report. today, he won't get angry, he will be a calm, flowing stream, he will not be swayed, he will be be an endless abyss of patience, he thought as he took a sip of his coffee. today he won't let dazai get under his skin—

"you know dazai put vinegar in your drink, right?"

kunikida immediately spat it out; why didn't you tell him that before? he glanced at your innocent grin before standing and leaving, worried that he would slam dazai's annoying face head first into the bin if he had to look at that disgusting grin for a second longer.

"i'm still waiting for your wish, by the way. do you want me to erase your good ol' partner over there from existence?"

it was a tempting offer. "no." you groaned in frustration, hanging upside down in the air as you followed behind him while he poured his ruined drink down the drain. "do you know what i want?" you sat up in interest. "just one goddamn day where everything goes according to schedule." he ignored the strange stare yosano was giving him. your red eyes glowed with newfound energy, worrying him a lot. "wait what are you planning—"

before he could finish his sentence, you snapped your fingers and a bright light filled his vision. once his eyes adjusted, kunikida noticed he was sitting by his desk, finishing up his report and drinking his coffee. he was so disoriented. in front of him, dazai was finishing his paperwork.

wait—

"this is [name], she'll be working with us from now on." kunikida looked up at the president curiously. beside him, you stood, staring at kunikida with a wide grin. instead of glowing red eyes, you had [eye colour] pools. you quickly greeted them all collectively before walking to kunikida, lowering your voice to a small whisper.

"i made a wish, why are you still here?"

"nah, that wish was too cute, that was on me; you get another one!" kunikida suppressed a groan.

it seemed like you weren't going anywhere anytime soon.

→♢←

ello boys