ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʟ ʙᴏʏ. || ᴍ.ʏɢ + ᴘ.ᴊᴍ ✔️

thirty-five: colors of you

The evening approached by the time Jimin finally decided he was ready to go home. He had spent the afternoon mentally preparing himself, and with Yoongi's comforting words he felt now was as good a time as ever.

He knew the confidence would fade soon. And it did, just as he stepped in front of his front door.

His eyes turned towards the ground, shaking, trembling, his whole body, shaking, trembling. Anxiety. It had its fingers securely clasped around him. Yoongi took a firm, yet gentle hold of his shoulders.

"Jimin. Jimin!" The boy didn't look up. "C'mon, Jimin, don't start hyperventilating again, please..."

Again - he said this, because Jimin had almost done so back at the coffee shop. The weight of his fear and doubts, all his stress and emotions binding his heart, it had caused his breathing to become unstable and came close to hyperventilation. And that fact scared Yoongi. Knowing Jimin was under enough stress to bring him to that point broke Yoongi's heart. But he understood it.

He understood it perfectly.

"Jimin, please look at me."

It took some time. Some coaxing.

"You're not alone. I know it's scary, okay?"

"It's too scary," Jimin blurted, voice wavering. "Jihyun most of all."

"Jimin, I need you to hear something."

It silenced him. Jimin stared at the mint-haired boy with wide-eyes. And he stared for a while, until he felt Yoongi pull him close and embrace him. Warm arms, a warmer heart, beating against his chest.

It didn't register at first that that was precisely what Yoongi had been referring to.

And he couldn't directly hear it, but he felt it, and it sent signals to his ears which gladly welcomed the sound.

"Don't get hung up on the hearts that won't beat with yours. That's what my father told me the day I came out."

Jimin's chest warmed as Yoongi slipped his fingers through his hair, caressing it softly.

"If your family doesn't accept you, if Jihyun - and I don't care how much you say he means to you, Jimin, I'm sorry - if he doesn't accept you, he's not worth your time."

It hurt to hear those words, but deep down, Jimin accepted them. With reluctance, but nonetheless he knew he would never truly be able to move on if he didn't value his own feelings more than he did now.

He respected Jihyun. He always had. As a brother, as a friend, as someone he could look up to and rely on, despite how somewhat distant they had been recently. He loved Jihyun. That was precisely why the thought of being rejected by him had been such a long-lasting fear - like a leech draining Jimin of all his energy, and if he didn't act now, he would have no more energy left to give.

Yoongi empathized. Even as he embraced Jimin, he could sense the whirlwind of emotions tormenting the boy. He vividly recalled facing that same whirlwind himself. But back then, he didn't have anyone - no one who knew, that is. He had Hoseok, who to some degree he had believed would fully accept him, but doubt still clung to him, even heavier so when he first decided to approach his mother.

No one was there to stand by him on that day. If Hoseok had known, undoubtedly he would have. But that didn't change the fact that Yoongi had faced that mountain on his own.

So right now, his goal was to convince Jimin, to paint it clear in colors so bright you could see them from space, that he wasn't alone.

Because he knew that there was nothing more painful in this world than to feel alone.