Don't Let Go (BxB) {COMPLETED} ✔️

CHAPTER 14- I Cry. Again.

JESSIE
Okay, so remember that rant I went on about Vee being a narcissistic smart-ass? Well, I have some new additions to that rant.
I swear he is gonna be the death of me. I now know that he is not actually narcissistic, but just basically makes fun of his own body publicly. It just sounds like narcissism because whatever he says is sarcastic and you can't tell the difference. Oh, yeah, I also confiscated his pocketknife. You know, the one he cut himself with. He knows about it.
It just killed me inside to see the scars covering his wrists and know, he did that to himself. That was his doing. And he had been doing it for so long without us even noticing. Not until he took it a step further.
I will never regret what I did that day when he tried to kill himself. It broke me to witness that; my little brother, holding a huge knife, ready to pierce his own heart with it without a second thought, just to feel something. He didn't deserve to go out like that. There were too many people that cared for him, even if he didn't care for himself.
I talked to him about it one night when he was in suicide rehab. I asked him to tell me truthfully why he had tried to kill himself. He said that he was just so sick of the thoughts and numbness in his mind that brought him down. He just wanted it to stop. I asked him why he was cutting. He said that it was the only thing that seemed to relieve him of his mental anguish, the pain of the blade.
I hate him for it. I hate him for wanting to die. I hate him for cutting his wrists. I hate him for not telling any of us about his self-depreciating thoughts. But I love him too much to let him end it.
Then he got mauled by a werewolf and almost got his wish. That was a whole new level of emotion for me. I couldn't stand seeing him like that, immobilized in yet another hospital bed, unable to even breathe. I did go see him once, after the nurses had finally gotten his wounds successfully bandaged. I almost threw up that day. What in the world did my brother do to deserve all of this torture? I just hope he gets a nice life from now on, otherwise I am gonna climb my way to Hell and kill the devil. Or whoever is in charge that day.
The only people I think Vee actually talks to about his feelings is me and Drew. He loves that Asian; I can tell just in the way he talks about him. Drew is the best thing that has ever happened to Vee. Literally. He rants to me sometimes just about Drew's appearance. (Even though I know what he looks like.) Of course with his own added opinions, but still. And that, folks, is how I know my brother is sexually attracted to men. Because of his commentaries about Drew. (Example: Vee was ranting about Drew's appearance and blurted out:
"And don't even get me started on his ass! Actually, on second thought, I would love that.")
I honestly hope that they stay together. Vee is so much happier with Drew. Hell, he spends half the time at Drew's house doing who-knows-what. The only problem is our parents.
Our mom and dad are hard-core Christians. They don't like gays, lesbians, transgenders, anybody of the LGBTQ+ community. They don't go to church, but they do keep a Bible in almost every cabinet in the den. If Vee and Drew ever get serious - *cough* sleep together *cough*- our parents will find out, and immediately disown Vee and/or kill him. Thankfully, Vee is proven to be a good liar and actor, so he has them convinced he is hanging out with Drew to do schoolwork every day after school, when in all reality they are probably making out or doing something equally as gay.
Personally, I am not fond of the things Vee wishes he and Drew could do (I will not elaborate for the sake of your innocence). If I were to be in a relationship, I wouldn't let it get further than MAYBE cuddling. Or like, watching a movie together or something. I don't know, I'm inexperienced in relationship things.
Vee may be a good liar, but I think I am a better secret-keeper.

OCTAVEUS
I walked home with Drew the second Monday after I returned to school. Earlier that day Talon had checked on my neck wounds and said that they were scarred-up enough that I didn't have to wear the bandages around my neck anymore, but I decided to wear them to school still, just one last time. Besides, I wanted Drew to be the first person to see the new scars.
We walked side-by-side down the street, Drew leaning some of his weight into me so that his head occasionally brushed my shoulder. Once we got to his house we went to his room and sat next to each other on the bed.
"Does it hurt?" He asked me quietly, indicating my neck.
I shook my head. "Not too much." We were silent for a couple seconds.
"When can you take the bandages off?" He asked.
"I can now," I said after a slight hesitation. "I wanted you to be the first person that saw them."
"Okay," Drew responded. I undid the little clip thing that held the bandages on and slowly unwrapped it from my neck, balling it up in my hand. Drew just stared at the new scars on my neck.
"Vee. . ." He whispered, and I looked down at my lap.
"I know," I mumbled. "They look horrible." I felt him lightly run his fingers over the scars, then he wrapped his arms around me.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered to me. "I can't even begin to imagine what it must've felt like."
"If you knew what Hell feels like then multiply that by twenty, and that's what it felt like," I said.

DREW
I kept hugging Vee after he said that, and we sat there like that for a couple seconds. I felt him start shaking and heard his breaths grow into an uneven hitching pattern and realized something that I had not expected; he was crying.
I looked up at his face worriedly; I could tell by the downward curve of his mouth and look in his eyes that he was trying to keep it in. Then he covered his face with his hands and propped his elbows on his knees, and his shoulders started shaking more. I didn't say anything, just wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer to me. He took his face out of his hands and wrapped his arms around me in return, hugging me hard and burying his face in my chest. I stroked his back as he cried into me.
"It's okay," I said to him lightly. "Everything is okay." I had never seen him cry before; it just surprised me that he felt safe enough to show weakness around me. But with all that he's been through in just this year, I don't blame him.
I felt him grip my shirt with his fists on my back as he continued to cry into me. "It hurt so much Drew," he mutter-cried.
"It's okay, I'm here," I said to comfort him again. "I'm going to protect you. Nothing like that will ever happen to you again, I promise."
I could feel his shoulders gradually stop shaking and he took his face out of my chest, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand with a disgusted look on his face, as if he was disappointed in himself for crying. "You don't have to feel like you need to be strong," I told him. "If you need to cry or rant, I'm here."
He looked at me and nodded, smiling a little in thanks.
We spent the next two hours just lying on my bed cuddling before Vee went home.

Sorry for the depressing notion of this chapter, I tried to make up for it, but my gay fluff was too crappy.
Anywho, thanks for reading, please comment any suggestions or constructive criticism, things like that. I will try to update soon, but as you may know, writer's block doesn't care and will probably incapacitate my writing skills for a bit. But I will try my best!
-Snake Eyes