The Power Of Cithrí - A Chaol Westfall Fanfiction

Part 28

I was shamed to admit that I hadn't cried yet, y/n was leaving in a few hours, to never return and I hadn't cried. I hadn't cried after I had been resuscitated, and hadn't cried when I had seen her face of hatred after Rowan told her about the letter blocking.
I ran my hands down the marron tunic I wore. I had brought this soley for the time we went to dinner, but as I had thought about her leaving all night long, my bed doomed to be forever cold, and my father to rejoice through my pain. I knew that this was the clothing I wanted to hug her in last, so I may hang it in my closet and wake up every morning to smell her.
Many lords gave me quiered looks, y/n had always said I wore too much black, and I guessed she wasn't the only one to have noticed. I passed a large window, the sill was lined with cusions as many spent their time reading books here in comfort when I heard a sniffled, and spotted the black hair of the prince. "I couldn't go down." Dorian said, looking out of the window, below was the gate that y/n and her brother planned to leave through in a few hours. "What do you mean?"
Dorian had been crying, an unopened book at his side. "I watched from here when she left."
I frowned, walking over. "She hasn't left yet."
Dorian frowned too. "Did you not say goodbye?"
I pointed down the hallway. "That's where I'm going now, she's not leaving till dusk."
Dorian gulped, and gave me pity eyes. "She left at dawn Chaol."

My chest flared up, the tunic suddenly becoming tight. "She said dusk." I knew I hadn't heard her incorrectly, she had said dusk, I was certain.
Dorian shook his head. "I thought you were down there, she left at dawn."

I had never walked away from anything so fast in my life, purposely having to take corridors I knew would be empty incase it all came out. I made it to my chambers without breaking down, the room felt empty, small items missing. No hair comb on the sofa, no cloak on the back of the chair. It was clean, like it used to be before I knew her. It seemed impossible that I had once found the emptiness comfortable.
Above the fireplace, the small wooden figures y/n had placed so carefully there, were now gone apart from the dancers. Their love seemed so unfair as I held them.
An envelope was underneath them, adressed to me. My fingers shook as I got the letter opener and unfolded the note. I knew the handwriting without having to look at the name.

Chaol,
I couldn't say goodbye, and I'm sorry, but leaving you is for the best. I can't keep going knowing I could hurt you again.

Rowan says he will find me a trainer, so I can learn to control my magic, and I promise when I have control I will send you a letter. Do not wait for me Chaol, you are a kind, sweet man who will easily find love anywhere. There are many women out there better than me, and you can find them.

I won't ever forget you, captian, and if someone asked me to go back to the first ever ball to do it all over again, I would jump at the chance. I have never met anyone quite like you, or at least no one who owns so many black clothes!

I snorted wiping my nose, ans turning the page, she went on and on, saying random pieces that didn't flow smoothly. Not like most love letters, but as I saw her signature at the end, along with Shadow's name and a small ink paw print she had drawn on, I read it all over again. The final page was not a letter but a drawing, one of Saskia's. It was of that time she had walked in on us in the morning after we had gone for dinner. Y/n was smiling, the wolf pup sat on her legs, and my arms coiled around her, my face buried into her neck. As I held the paper between my hands I let out a sob, falling onto the sofa as I cried my heart out.

She was gone.