Don't say that you love me

Heartbreak Of The Moment

Stevie and Lindsey did have their quick getaway only for a day though and the next morning after a sweet, romantic perfect morning, they forced themselves down to the studio "I dont want to go Linds!" Stevie giggled, tugging on his sleeve. 

"Me either, but Ken rang and said it was urgent!" Lindsey sighed, annoyed, he just wanted to runaway from it all with his Stevie, not deal with the band and fame that had been breaking them and the certain receptionist he had led on, fucked and he now felt guilty over.

"We barely got our  holiday!" Stevie chuckled, disappointed.

"We have all the time in the world my angel!" Lindsey smiled, feeling like they had the whole future in front of them.

"We do!" Stevie giggled leaning against him as he drove, she felt like everything should be fine, but something felt like darkness was lingering and that scared her, she just hoped it was the feeling of not being stoned out of her mind that eluded that feeling, she had used less drugs and alcohol since the previous days, Lindsey was her happiness and her euphoria, she didnt need to make that with drugs, her happiness came natural with him.

Within moments, Lindsey and her lost themselves in small talk again, planning things that seemed too wonderful to be real until they arrived at the studio and both got out, holding hands as they made their way into the studio, first thing they saw was John smoking a joint looking depressed outside the door. He was, he had fucked things up with Christine again, going to get her breakfast and she was gone when he returned and now no one could reach her "John, what's up?" Lindsey asked sensing the vibes.

"Christine has taken off, she told Mick she needs a few days, I think she on a bender, he said she sounded drunk and stoned!" John explained.

"What did you to her this time John?" Stevie asked annoyed, worried for Christine.

"Her and I ended up doing it again and I went to get her some breakfast and I returned, she was gone!" John sighed, scracthing his head.

"That's not just an excuse is it, I know how you treated her on and off!" Stevie stated annoyed.

"I fucking love that crazy lady!" John laughed "She keeps pushing me away though!" 

"You hurt her John!" Stevie stated.

"We hurt eachother Stevie, I was a complete wanker ok, but her and I made love and she is gone now!" John exclaimed.

"She will return, she is probably out getting drunk somewhere!" Lindsey reassured.

"Yeh, that's not good, I know what happened last time she did that!" Stevie replied worried and chewing on her bottom lip.

"What?" Both men asked staring at her.

"Girl stuff!" Stevie answered quickly and they both cringed which made Stevie roll her eyes, even though she was worried "Has anyone called her besides Mick?"

"I think the guys did!" John replied and Stevie walked off inside past Carol Ann and Ken straight to the phone as she dialled Christine's home number.

She watched as Lindsey walked in and Carol Ann hurried over to him. Stevie watched their expressions and walked as close as close as the wired phone would let her as it rang and she watched as Lindsey looked shocked and she heard them "Linds, I am pregnant, nine weeks, I'm sorry!" the other blonde stuttered and Stevie felt nauseous.

"No, you were supposed to have that taken care of, don't lie!" Lindsey whispered angrily and those words shattered Stevie's heart. He had clearly knocked Carol up, then told her to abort and she hadn't, then he and ran straight back to Stevie herself and she felt used and disgusted. 

The phone rang out and she walked back away, hanging it back up. Christine wasn't answering and her fairy-tale with Lindsey was broken, of course fairy tales never happened, Juliet and Romeo died, fairy tales ended in heartbreak if they were real. She shakily walked away, hearing Carol Ann saying how the baby was supposed to be a boy and Stevie realised that was a child she could have had, but she aborted her Sara, she felt sick, she felt like she would collapse, Lindsey was having a child with another woman, a child herself may never be able to carry. she hated herself and her body, Lindsey belonged with Carol Ann in her mind, he was giving her a child. Stevie saw herself as a dragon that shattered him, sterile, a black widow. 

She staggered up the hall and Lindsey watched her frail frame look shaky "Thanks a lot Carol, I cant believe you right now!" He snapped, worried more about Stevie.

"I didn't plan this!" Carol Ann exclaimed.

"You said you were on the pill!" Lindsey stated "I tried to be safe myself, how, how did this happen?"

"It just did and I must have forgotten to take the pill, I'm sorry, I know we were only playing around, I didn't plan this! I already gave a baby up, I'm not ready either!" The blonde cried.

"This is your fault Carol Ann!" Lindsey snapped, overwhelmed as he watched Stevie storm off up the hall. 

"Lindsey wait!" Carol Ann cried, grapping his arm "I did not plan this, I didn't want this either, but it has happened, I am sorry too, but I cannot get rid of this baby, its part of us!" She stated resting her hand on her stomach, crying. 

"I'm not asking that, although its so much fucking easier, I just don't know what to do!" Lindsey huffed.

"Don't make me!" Carol Ann cried, bursting into tears "Please Lindsey, I am so scared!" She sobbed and he sighed as he pulled her into a hug feeling bad that he had made her upset as well as Stevie, he hated himself.

Stevie turned back to glance and saw them hugging, she knew he would choose Carol and the baby, she felt like he had used her as his last piece of freedom before he settled down with Carol Ann "How could I be so fucking dumb?" Stevie asked herself angrily, closing the door and leaning against it, bursting into tears.

"What's wrong love?" Mick asked.

"Everything!" Stevie cried.