Don't say that you love me

No Questions Asked

Lindsey arrived home and there was Carol Ann sitting on the stairs with a twig in her hands, drawing patterns on the stone as she was lost in her own turmoil "Carol!" He called out as he walked closer and she looked up, her make-up was run down her face, she looked a beautiful mess and Lindsey felt bad, it was like looking a heartbroken Stevie and he knew she was just as vulnerable, if not more.

"I'm sorry!" The younger woman sniffled, rubbing her runny nose the sleeve of her white cardigan.

Lindsey walked closer "I'm sorry, you tried to do anything to please me, I treat you like shit, I dont know if I ever loved you, I wanted to, I still want to, but I dont know if I can, you know things are complicated with me and Stevie, they always will be, I'm fucked up Carol, I should never have dragged you into the mess of my life, the mess I am, I am sorry, so sorry for that!" Lindsey exclaimed and started crying, from the guilt, the way he treated the woman in front of him and he regrets and love for his Stevie.

Carol Ann stood up and quickly pulled him into a hug "Maybe you can love me Lindsey, like the way I love you, maybe this little baby is the chance for us!" She smiled, grabbing his hands even though she could tell no atter what she did, no matter how hard she tried, he would never love her like he loved Stevie.

"Carol, its not fair on you, give up on me, I'm trying to be honest!" Lindsey exclaimed.

"I dont care if you dont love me, in time you will, in time you will love me, you will love our baby, dont leave me Lindsey, you cant!" Carol Ann cried in desperation.

"Carol please, you deserve better, I am trying to be good here, I dont want to use you!" Lindsey exclaimed.

"I dont care, I love you, I will do anything to be with you, if you want me to be Stevie I will, I have never loved anyone like the way I love you, I have been there for you, all the nights you broke down, all the nights you made love to me rough, all the nights you called me Stevie and I still fucking love you Lindsey, I love you and she never will!" Carol Ann snapped and pulled back "If you dont love me, don't you care about our child I am carrying?" 

Lindsey got angered by her words, wondering if she was right, if Stevie would ever love him again, but he felt all the love there still and felt like he always fucked everything up because he loved her so much he didnt think clearly and his own anger at himself, he took out on Stevie and Carol Ann "Fuck you, there probably is no baby, you probably are lying, desperate slut!" He yelled back, angrily.

"Lindsey there is, I love you and I want the baby, how can you say that, I didnt dump you, I didnt break your heart but I am willing to pick up the pieces, I want to be there for you, but you wont let me in!" Carol Ann screamed in hysterics and fell to her knees crying and Lindsey felt bad.

"Carol!" He said is a softer voice even though she looked like Stevie, he just hated himself more for using her and his anger built up more inside of him as he knelt down "We will have the baby!" He soothed, gently cupping her face and tipping her chin upward.

"Really?" she smiled.

"Yes, I do love you!" He smiled and kissed her passionately, wanting to mean it.

Stevie paused and only heard those words as she walked up in the darkness of the sidewalk Lindsey was leaving her for Carol Ann, like she expected, she couldnt take him from their child and felt stupid for letting Mick take her there. SHe heard him say he loved Carol and she felt her heart shatter.    She wuickly scurried back to where Mick had parked and got back in, bottling all her tears back up inside of her "Stevie?" Mick asked.

"Take me to your place Mick, there is nothing else to say!" She exclaimed, blinking and gulping back tears.

"Did you talk to him?" Mick asked.

"He is staying with Carol and their baby, no questions asked, no spoken words, I know it, its over Mick, let it go, we are not your love affair to fix, take me home!" She demanded.

"But Stevie.." 

"No buts Mick!" She exclaimed cutting him off "Take me home, I want to get drunk and high now!"