Love Thy Sister (Lesbian Story)

Love Thy Sister (lesbian story): Chapter 21

Abbey: 12:03pm

As of right now I am wanted in there is an Amber alert out for me. Bizarre right? It’s been two days since everything that happened with me and you know who. The next morning Crystal and I knew that it was only a matter of time before they tracked me down and returned me home. We could no longer stay in the library. So for the last two days Crystal and I have been living together on the streets. It’s what I wanted right? Be careful what you wish for I guess. I have to admit this is probably the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me. It’s far from the best thing, but it is the most interesting. Who knew that I would almost be raped again and have to go on the run with my sister whom I’m in love with? Certainly not me.

Crystal keeps suggesting that we go and stay at Savanna’s house. Yeah Savanna’s parents are like the most awesome parents in the universe, but I don’t want them to get all tangled up in my mess. If the cops find that they’ve been keeping us they’ll most definitely take them in for questioning. Mother and Father have probably already checked the phone bill and hunted down Savanna for information. I’ve started so much shit in such a little amount of time. Right now Crystal and I have no plan whatsoever and we don’t know how we’re going to survive all of this.

I probably sound cheery for a person who went through a traumatizing even just two days ago. To be honest I’m dying inside but I have to stay strong. If you’re weak out here on the streets they’ll eat you alive. I act as if I’ve been on the streets my whole life. In reality I’m just a newly homeless white girl who was so used to the gated life community and the finer things in life. I have a lot to learn but boy am I learning it fast. The first thing I learned was the art of disguise. With the help of no makeup, a scarf to cover my hair, and a big hoodie I look like a new person. I am an ugly new person, but a person nonetheless.

The second thing I learned was how to lay low. There’s an art to blending in with the crowd. No bright colors and you have to follow the consistent flow of everyone around you. If you do that no one will even take a second glance at you. The third thing I learned is that this world really doesn’t give two shits about you. Crystal and I were kicked out of a store for staying in there too long. It was raining and so cold outside, but then again we did stay in that store for 3 hours just walking around. I would have kicked us out too…maybe.

I’m amazed at how this all comes so easy to Crystal. It’s like she knows exactly what she’s doing and she’s so natural with doing it. I don’t understand how we were both brought up in the same way, but she excels at being independent. Maybe it’s because Crystal always secretly knew that one day she would be tossed into this harsh world with no armor. It’s like she had always been preparing for it in some way. It’s so sad, but so true. The way she thinks and the fact that she is so strong scares me sometimes. She has an old soul, but a young heart.

As for me I have a heavy heart and no soul. I hate to think of myself that way but it’s true. My negativity and uncertainty brings me down and makes pessimism bliss. The way I can just go about life so empty proves that I have no soul. The only time I have a soul is when I write in this journal. Starting this journal was perhaps the best thing that could have happened to me. The strange thing is that as soon as I started writing everything began to happen. Crystal and I confessed our love, Mother and Father stepped in, Crystal ran away, the incident happened again, and now I’m on the run. I share every single detail that happens in my life with you and the best part is that I can do it freely. Any thought and any ounce of pain I can just release it and I know that my secrets will be safe.

Speaking of secrets in a matter of just 2 maybe 3 months I’ve written every single secret inside of you. Every thought that I have had is basically sealed in here. It’s actually kind of funny how I only have about 30 pages left before this whole thing is filled up. I’m not going to lie; it’s going to hurt me dearly when I have to get another journal. Maybe I won’t get another journal…maybe I was just supposed to have this one journal to document everything that has been happening. If anyone ever found you I would be beyond devastated.

Crystal was the only reason why I started writing in you. I used to think that writing was too overdramatic for me. I’m not a writer like Crystal…I’m not really anything. I’m a teenage girl who is in love with their sister. I have no true talents and no real passions….at least I think I don’t. Maybe I should take a break from writing in you for a while, just to clear my head. I write inside of you faithfully and maybe it’s draining me…this will be my last entry for a while. I’ll write in you again, but not for now. Goodbye…

Crystal 1:47pm

I’m going through this all over again, I’m homeless. The only thing now is that Abbey is with me…to be honest I don’t want her to be out here with me. It is far too dangerous and she doesn’t deserve it. Mother and Father have taken things so seriously that there is now an Amber Alert out for her. Its amazes me how they never put an Amber Alert out for me, then again I never wanted to be found…at least not by them.

Having Abbey tag along with me is so much more comforting, but it’s a lot of work. When Abbey doesn’t feel like doing something she tends to complain about it for hours. For example; she hates having to change locations every few hours even though it’s crucial. If we stayed in the same place for too long they would surely track us down. I told her if she hated the streets that much that she would just agree to stay at Savanna’s house.

I haven’t spoken to Savanna in weeks and I’m sure she’s probably hurt by it. Yeah we weren’t close friends, but we did share a lot. She was actually the first friend I had besides Abbey. I know for a fact that Savanna’s parents would welcome us into their home with arms wide open. They would probably even try to get custody of us. Isn’t it kind of ironic how I don’t want that though? All my life I secretly wished to have parents to love and care for me, but if I was given the chance I wouldn’t take it. I would choose freedom over being taken care of.

Abbey and I are also very different in that sense. She would rather be taken care of than have her freedom. It’s like she’s afraid of it and I don’t know why. If you ask most teenagers what they want the most out of life chances are they would probably choose freedom. Then again most teenagers don’t realize how good they have it. They don’t understand that the world is cold and harsh and that the comfort of caring parents is the safest thing in the world. To have someone be that protective over you can be a blessing in disguise. I wished for so long to have that and now that dream is dead.

There are a lot of things that have become dead to me in the last few months. For instance the idea of having loving parents has died, the dream of meeting my real parents has died, and the chances of Abbey and I ever having something close to normal has died. Don’t get me wrong, I love Abbey with all my heart but our relationship will never be normal. It doesn’t bother me that our relationship will never be normal, but I kind of always thought it would be. I thought that in my little fantasy world that one day Abbey and I would be able to just put the idea of us being sisters behind us…we both know that we can’t.

If Abbey and I went to a state where Gay Marriage was legal I doubt they would wed us because we are related by adoption. To propose to Abbey and then not be able to get married because of another thing that society can’t accept would just shatter me inside. It’s sad but I’m beginning to see everything in such a different light. Is that what happens when you get older? You look at the things around you that meant so much and you realize that they were all just silly little thoughts. Honesty if that’s what happens when you get older than I want to go back before all of this happened.

The only time I was truly happy is when Abbey and I first confessed our love for each other. I felt as though I was on top of the world and that nothing could bring me down. Every single day we lived to the fullest and every single second I treasured. Now it just seems as though all of that has went away. Was I wrong about my feelings for the last 10 years? Were they simply over exaggerated feelings that I felt the need to suppress because I was too ignorant? Nothing makes sense anymore and I hate it.

It’s like I don’t know anything anymore and I have no guidance whatsoever. Right now I’m hiding with my sister because she is being searched for. I’m risking so much and I don’t even know what my feelings truly are. I need to take a step away from everything right now and just live inside of me. I cannot write and I cannot think…goodbye….