Love Thy Sister (Lesbian Story)

Love Thy Sister (Lesbian Story): Chapter 23

Sorry for the wait on this chapter, I have been very busy. This is not the final chapter, but the next one will be. I hope you all enjoy. Remember to comment, vote, and add to your library! I love you all :)

Crystal

You know how when people say “rare case” you automatically think that it doesn’t happen? I used to think that way until about two weeks ago. Things and my life have happened so fast that I haven’t even had any time to reflect on it all. Just a month ago I was being kicked out of the home where I lived for 15 years, and now I’m actually out on my own. If someone ever tells you that it’s easy to get separated from your guardian and live on your own their wrong. I had to muster up all the maturity I had, I had to be the biggest go getter, and then I had to get the best lawyer just to get what I wanted.

Now that I look back at it all I could have just done what Abbey did. When Savanna’s parents openly offered to legally adopt us she knew for sure that that’s what she wanted to do. There were no if ands or buts about it. She didn’t even want to be out on her own. I can’t blame her though because that’s just the type of person she is. The idea that we are two different people has been on my mind since the day she brought it up. It was right before my case and just out of nowhere she goes into how we are two different people and how she’s holding me back. I looked at her like she was crazy, but she was being honest.

When she said this to me her eyes were swelling with tears and I could feel her pain. It was like I was being ripped away from my sister. Everything that we had been through and all the times we said I love you just seemed to vanish. I loved her with a passion and I still do, but she thinks that we’re better like this. I don’t see any benefits from us not being together. I only feel pain since Abbey has been gone.

Lately I’ve been so busy with settling into my new life that I haven’t had time to just lay there and reflect on all that has happened. My life lately has been hard work with no slack whatsoever. When I am alone however I dream about Abbey coming back to me. I dream about us being in our room together and talking about anything and everything. I miss being wrapped up in her presence and I wonder if she misses me. Perhaps she has moved on and is learning to forget about me. We barely talk and when we do we don’t say much.

Not having someone to share your secrets with is like knowing the secret to life and not being able to tell anyone. Not being able to truly express who I am and having to hide it all is the worse feeling in the world. Not having Abbey is the worst feeling in the world. I keep telling myself that this hole in my heart will be fixed, but I have little hope that it will be. I keep telling myself that none of this ever happened, but I know I am only fooling myself.

I have no regrets for anything that I said or did. I wouldn’t take any of it back because everything happens for a reason. Abbey and I were put together on this earth for a reason, and Abbey and I were separated for a reason. Maybe this just tests our distance and that one day we will be back together. I pray that one day we well be together again it is all that I wish for.

Lately I have been contemplating whether or not I should continue on with this journal. I have written many journals before, but this is the only one with so much feeling and with so much pain. Something deep inside of me has the urge to burn this journal and erase it from history. Something else deep inside of me wants to hide it and then one day reread it in a different light. I wish I could do both. I don’t want to erase this chapter in my life, but it’s by far the worst chapter yet.

Everything that I have to say is redundant. I love Abbey and I am filled with pain from this harsh world. I got what I wanted but I lost what I dreamed of having. I feel selfish for feeling this way and I feel stupid for feeling this way but I cannot help it. Maybe this is how the ending of love feels. It’s like you’ve gone down this long path and then there’s the end. You’re confused and you don’t know whether or not you should try and turn back or find a new route. Maybe this is what love feels like.

Abbey if you should ever happen to read any of these entries I want you to know that everything within these pages are true. I have always loved you and I will always love you. You have a permanent place in my heart and I never wish to replace you. You know what we have been through and if you are reading this in the future you know what is to come. I pray that everything that we’ve always wanted and everything thing that we dreamed of doing happens. And for anyone else who is reading this, I want you to know that I love Abbey, I love my sister…