My Mask: Unveiled

Distance

Relationships are scary...

Long distance relationships are scarier...

you always have to commit to your phone but there are some times that you just can't. It's  just so hard to make time to be in your phone but...i just love her so much...

She makes me happy and sad at the same time. She's always there for me and i am always there for her. We strive to make each other happy daily. It's...worth it...

But i just physically miss her. It's sad  because i don't get to  hold her, i don't get to embrace her, i don't get to hold her hand, i don't get to hear her soothing voice around me.

It's sad because i don't know how long we'll have to hold on before we can embrace...

you're just...just so far...

I just miss you so much but sometimes i try to contain my emotions because i don't want to get too attached. It scares me how far you are and the obstacles our relationship has brought...

I know...i know...

We can overcome all the obstacles together...but i'm just...i'm insecure...

I just...i don't know...

I love you so much. More than i've ever loved before…if i've ever loved before...

I just physically miss you. I can't stop thinking of the day i finally get to hug you...kiss you...

I-...i can't breathe...

It's hard to say goodbye…

It's hard…

I want to be able to hold her when she's crying…

I want to be able to laugh with her when she's happy…

I want to be her warmth when it's cold…

Her sunshine…

But…i can't…

To gaze into the eyes of a loved one, speak your heart and share your warmth is the best gift ever and if you truly love the person then you will let nothing come in between that…

So many times i just want to curl up in an insecure ball of shame in her arms and just snuggle to sleep but i can't…

So many times i want to hold her hands and dance to our favourite song…but i can't…

So many times i want to lay down and count the stars and reasons why we love each other…but i can't…

So many times i want to sing her to sleep in my embrace…but i can't…

So many times i want to hug her in excitement, jump around because of how proud i am of her…but i can't…

So many times i want to just brush her pink cheeks and gaze into her eyes before meeting her soft lips and making our hearts race and the temperature in the room rise…but i can't…

Imagination is a strong drug that people can get highly addicted to. I don't want to get that far…

Love is also a strong and irresistible drug that people can get highly addicted to. I don't want to get that far either…

I just…i just miss her…

Every time i think of the day we first meet in real life, it's just so surreal to me and i just can't fathom how that day would come to be…

It's kinda scary to be honest…

All the "what if" questions surfing up and around my brain…

I'm confused, scared, insecure, sad, happy, frustrated, overwhelmed…i just feel…strange…

I don't know what i feel but i sure do know that i love her so much because every time i think of her, there are butterflies in my chest. I know that sounds cliche but it's true.

Every time i hear her voice, i can't help but smile…

Every time we text, i just imagine us just sitting under a tree and talking under the sunset…

It's amazing, and just so wonderful.

I love her so much. She's so talented, so smart, so different, so broken, so imperfect, so fucking weird and i love every second of it all.

She's my cute lil biscuit, my adorable lil gender queer girlyboii, my strawberry, my princess, my darling, my sunshine, my potato, my sweetie and my oldie goldie. I love you so much sweetheart, and i'm glad you're a part of my life. I can't wait to open more chapters with you darling. I love you.

Dedication to my girlfriend. elladerick