Sweet as Suga ( suga x reader)

Chapter 20

Yoongi's POV

        "What" I was nearly speechless, a part of me wanted to crumble.  If I had known earlier I would've, well, I don't know what I would've done how could she keep this to herself like this? I thought to myself.  "Yeah, she told me right before she left but she told me to keep it a secret" I looked up at Taehyung and I kind of felt bad because he loved her too, he was there for her when she found out she was going to die in a few years.  "I still can't believe the great Soojin has cancer" I ruffled my hair in frustration, I felt bad for her but what made me feel more like an asshole was that even though Soojin was the topic of the conversation I could only think about Y/N.   She was on mind every second I wasn't in that hospital room with her, all I could think about was her waking up and me being there as soon as she opened her eyes, and seeing that smile once again.  "I need to get back to Y/N," I said as I turned and headed back into the room.  It was silent as my friends and Mrs. Y/L/N sat patiently for Y/N to wake up, I soon joined them in their silence along with Taehyung.  My leg bounced up and down as I constantly glanced at the clock, I was getting impatient.  It reminded me of when she got beat up by Jae Eun and was unconscious for hours.  This time I wasn't alone.  The beating of my heart became louder and louder.  As the hours went by, one by one the boys left whether it was because of a family matter their curfew.  Taehyung was the last one to make his exit leaving only me and Y/N's mom to sit and wait.  "I'm going to go get something to eat, would you like something?" Mrs. Y/L/N asked tiredly "Oh, you don't have to" I responded "I insist" she gave a small smile that didn't reach her eyes.  "No, thank you.  I'm not hungry" I lied, I was starving but I didn't want to burden Mrs. Y/L/N.  She left and I was the only one with Y/N, tears were on the verge of falling as I gazed at my love.  It pained me to see her like this, so dormant with a breathing mask covering her gorgeous face.  She was everything to me, she didn't deserve this I did.  I deserved this, I deserved to be in that bed not being able to breathe on my own, having to stay dormant while the ones I love watch patiently, to be in that dark mindless state trapped in my own mind on my own having no way of escaping.  Why?  Why?  Why not me? I ask myself over and over again.  That burning question driving me closer and closer to insanity.  Then another question that might cause me to almost put a bullet in my head What if she doesn't wake up?  The question dawned on me like a storm cloud, the feeling of fear spread through my body like a wildfire I couldn't control it.  What if she doesn't wake up?  Whether it was five minutes or five seconds or even five milliseconds every moment that she spent unconscious killed me inside.  "You probably can't hear me but I need you so you gotta wake up" I could feel my hands shaking uncontrollably as I wrapped them around Y/N's hoping that she could feel my touch.  "Y/N, please, please, I beg of you.  Come back to me being without you is worst than being damned to the bowels of hell.  I need you in my life, please, I love you" I kissed her hand having some hope that she could hear me, that she could feel me, that she could wake up right here, right now.  

Time Skip

         "Yoongi, it's been over three weeks, you've been in and out of the house more than usual.  You come here to shower then pack some clothes and leave, you go there as soon as you get out of school, I barely see you and I think you just need to take a moment and spend time with your family" my mom said as I packed a bag of clothes to take with me to the hospital.  I wasn't really listening to her seeing as how she and my dad are barely home themselves.  They had been working on this project at their company, spending nights at the office, having me take care of myself the majority of the time and this was always happening.  It had always seemed that they had a project all the time, ever since I was a kid there were no family bonding times for me.  It happened so frequently that it became a norm for me.  "Mom, I really don't think you, especially you have the right to talk about 'spending time with family'" I chuckled "What do you mean by that?" she folded her arms across her chest.  "In case you haven't noticed but I'm pretty sure that this house has been pretty empty for about eleven years, oh, except for the six-year-old being left alone because his parents had to work twenty-four seven!" I raised my voice leaving her in shock.  "Well," she continued to stare at me in shock "If you'll excuse me, I have to go and care for someone who actually gives a crap about me and my feelings because--" the waterways were open and I was a mess.  "Because between you and dad, I have gotten more love out Y/N than I'll ever get out of you and you know what" I paused "That is sad" I was finished.  I had finally said it, after all this time, I finally said it.  After all these years of suffering, all of the lonely nights and dinners made by either a nanny or myself, after all those times where I needed my parents but was left alone, I finally said it.  I felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulder as I walked out of the front door.  But it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows as I got closer to Y/N's room, there were nurses running around in a panic, I was worried.  I saw Taehyung and Seokjin standing at the end of the hallway, Taehyung was crying.  I was officially scared.  What happened?  The worst scenarios had started to set into my mind, "What happened?" I asked Seokjin, I could hear the fear in my own voice.  He only lowered his head, then he looked at me with tears in his eyes "Seokjin, tell me, what happened?" he was silent.  I asked him again, this time begging for him to tell me what the hell happened to the love my life "Tell me, please, what happened?" he continued to look at me with sad eyes until he finally spoke.  "Mrs. Y/L/N asked us to watch over Y/N while she went to go find the doctor because she said that she saw Y/N move her hand a bit but then when Mrs. Y/L/N left, Y/N had started spazzing uncontrollably.  Then her heart had stopped beating, the doctor said she went into cardiac arrest and that if it happens again hey may not be able to revive her" my heart sank to my stomach "they may not be able to revive her" his words echoed through my ears.  Then that question that drove me crazy had come back ten times harder What if she doesn't wake up?

A/N: I just wanted to point out that the next few chapters are going to be about Yoongi and his feelings about everything that has happened so far.  These few chapters are also going to clear some of the tension that is still present between him and Taehyung along with a few POVs from Taehyung.  Also, you guys will get to know more about Yoongi's life, his family for instance and how much he really cares about the people in his life but can't seem to forgive some of them for all the pain they've caused him.  Oh, and one more thing I'm still not sure if I want a happy ending or a sad ending so I could use some suggestions. :)