Get out of my life

Chapter 13

Heyyy I'm here. How's it going? It's my finals week so I'm gonna attempt to write this chapter in between intense studying so I don't know when this will get out. But you're reading it now so I guess I  figured it out 😊 enjoy (lol I procrastinated soo much so I decided to actually try on this chapter)

Keith pov
Everything has been frantic since I realized that I could find a loop hole in my own head. I was so willing to be with lance. I had felt feelings for him since he came into my life. I just somehow needed to figure out how to get the confidence to do it.

I spent a full week figuring out scenarios where I could help myself. It was weird and surprisingly helpful.
I would find myself walking around the house with purpose and a sudden joy. Even Shiro began to notice

"You seem happy there Keith." I nodded. I didn't expect him to come up to me and give me a hug. We stayed like this for a bit, my awkwardness was present but I didn't object. He finally spoke
"I'm really proud of you"
"What? What did I do?"
"I'm not sure what it was that gave you the motivation to care about yourself again, but I haven't seen you this happy in years." I didn't respond but smiled to myself and felt my awkwardness melt away. He was right. It felt great.

But great things can only last so long. The fact that I had put so much joy into my life sent my worrisome thoughts into overdrive.
Why are you so happy? Don't get your hopes up. You know you'll only be disappointed.

Crap crap crap.

I shooed my thoughts away the best I could. But they wouldn't budge. Maybe a walk would help? I grabbed my coat and walked outside. it was very cold outside. There was frost on the grass and it was clearly going to be overcast all day. I could see my breath come out in puffs as I treaded down the road. I focused on the sidewalk and attempted to calm my nerves. Without realizing I ran right into someone.

"Ow" I looked up.

"Sorry Lance" I said. He was wearing a coat a little less puffy than mine and a striped blue scarf. His breath was also coming out in puffs. All the things I previously worked on fell apart when I looked into his eyes. I had no confidence. How could he actually be looking at me right now! He's looking at me!

"What's with that face?" He said laughing a bit.
Now he's judging me! What do I do?!

"Uhhhh" I stared at him with wide eyes and my mouth hanging open. I'm sure anyone would have assumed I had gone mentally insane but lance only found it funny.
"You're weird" He said laughing again. I decided to laugh along in the hopes of him assuming it was all some joke.

Then he became serious.

"So Keith"

Oh no

"I think we should talk"

No stop talking "Okay"

"How are you?"
"Really?" I couldn't imagine he only wanted to talk about how I am right now.
"You got me. No. Not really"
"So?"
"I know you've pulled back. I expect that. But I dont want you to be afraid" he said. His face showed pain. How hard was it for him to say that. If he could be honest, I needed to be as well
"I've... been... trying to-fix myself" he looked confused. "For you"
"What are you trying to say?"
"I'm wanting you" shit no "I want you're- I would like you- I like want to be with you" I exhaled after getting it out finally. Gosh I was so bad at speaking. Why wouldn't my words come out right. This made me turn dark red and when I had the courage to look back up at lance he was smiling brighter than I'd ever seen.
We held eye contact for a long time. I was fiddling with my coat that went over my hands a little bit. I was such a constant fuck-up that I couldn't believe that he actually was happy by that terrible sentence. Before I knew it his lips were on mine.

He'd grabbed onto my waist and pulled me closer. My hands were still playing with each other as I stood there frozen. I didn't know how to respond. His eyes were closed so I assumed I should do the same. And when I did everything got a whole lot better. I kissed back a bit, and relaxed. He smiled in the kiss knowingly. It was soft and simple but powerful. Fireworks went off in my chest as I assumed that all of this was a joke for some reason until just now. I actually felt like be really wanted me. Is this what it felt like? Happiness? We slowly parted. He couldn't get very far because whilst in the kiss I had apparently been playing with his scarf now instead of my own hands. He stopped and looked down at my hands and I did as well. I got red again and quickly let go so he could stand up straight.
"S-sorry"
"It's fine" he said smiling. I smiled a bit too. Then found the courage to say something.

"You're so gay"
"I know"