Love is Pain Sweetheart

Chapter 11

He just was pacing for a few minutes before he started.  I was scared shitless. He looked scared also.

" Four years ago we went on a mission. We were only suppose to be gone for eighteen weeks. Thats it.Instead we were gone for two years. We were down there for a week checking out this little town up in the mountains.  We were just watching them studying them. Then out of nowhere we were ambushed. All six of us were taken. A man the very man we were watching was apart of  very large army who was planning on some very destructive ideas. Any way he had us thrown into a fucking hole. A HOLE. a year went by. A hole year. Three of our men. Max, Jason, and thomas they just started going crazy. They were splling information. They were gong crazy and doing so many stupid things. It was becoming dangerous. These men were my family. I have been in the army since I was sisxteen. I somehow managed to forge my way into the marine core. It took alot of fake identity and lies and forgery. I didnt have anywhere else to go though. The marines became my family. That unit was my family. They were my brothers. Mr, Gray told me to kill them. He said they couldnt handle it anymore. They needed to be put out of the pain. He told me it was mercy killing really. Truth was he couldnt take it. He couldnt do the job. But I could. He had watched me become a heartless man over the year. So I did it. Max I strangled in his sleep silently. Jason I bashed is skull in with a rockin the daytime.  Thomas was my best friend. They let us out every day to torture us to try and get informaion. We were very close to a cliff. One day we were right next to it. They threatened to throw us of if we didnt tell. Well I tripped thomas so he fell over. Every day I rember how max thrashed about. How the tears in his eyes sprung to life as I strangled him until e fell lifless. I rember how james screamed in pain and how his eyes were so empty. I watched his blood drain from him. I rember how thomas watched me every second knowing it was his turn. His eyes begged  me to do it. I can still hear him screaming as he fell. I rember his broken body at the bottom. I am tormented by what I did.As if that wasnt enough Me , steven, and Mr. Gray escaped one night. We umm took hostage the main house where that sick bastard lived. We had it under control for months. I dont know how we di it. the hole town did as told. I mean we were going to kill there leader. It was a hole family. A mother the bastard two sons and a daughter.  the daughters name was lillian. She and steven fell in love. In not time she was pregneat. I dont know how he could fall for the bastards daughter but he did. We finally decied it was time to leave. Me and Mr. Gray decided best to discard them. They deserved it. We werent the only ones being tortured. Brutally tortured. We tied te family up and burnt the house to the ground with tem in it. 

Steven never forgave me. He is so angry he did as he was told. I dont know what went down between himm and lillian but all I know is that he loved her. I dont know how he did what he did. Except he did. HE screamed and yelled as we watched it burn that night. We traveled for days before we got rescue. 

We came back here and took three moths of help and pills. We never told them what happened. We agreed it should be left behind and not put in reports. Steven soon after took up drinking. I have become this. Mr. Gray became a principle and is just staying busy among drinking to try and forget it. Mr. Gray was the weak one though. He signed me to do the dirty work. 

Now you know what happened."

I felt so overwhelemd. I couldnt believe it. He killed three of his unit and burned a house don with a hole family in it. I felt so sorry for him but couldnt help the new kind of fear that was developing inside of me. Mr. Gray ordered him to do such horried things but then again he obeyed.  What demons he must live with. What nightmares he must live. What horrid memories he must have. I started to shake. I didnt realize the fresh coat of tears. No wonder he had become a monster. No wonder my brother started drinking.  No wonder my brother was so guilty.

I cant believe he got a girl pregneat said he oved her then let her burn, What went through his head.

I looked into jaspers icy blue eyes. They staired into the empty fire.  Pain, guilt, shame, and so many other things existed in those eyes. I couldnt help but feel bad for him.  He was n so much pain. Then again it only made him more of an enemy.

" Lets get you to school. We have a long drive." His voice was flat and no emotion was in it. I got up and walked out towards the car. 

I didnt say anything because their wasnt anything worth saying.  Their were no words that would make this better. This woud never be better.

So why did my  brother send me to the wolves. One more question I must find the answer to.

                                                                         At school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He quickly drove out of he parking lot in his black dodge. I watched him until he was gone then I walked inside. I  immediatetly spotted amy at the end of the hall next to her locker.

" AMY!!"

she looked around until she spottted me. She took off running down the hole until she crashed into me. She laughed but me not because I just couldt get my mind off well jasper.

" Oh my gosh I am so gad to see you. Oh and I found out who wrote that mean note about you. It was maggie miles."

" I kinda figured it was her." I said plainly keeping my eyes to the floor letting my brunett hair fall over my shoulders.

" Ya me to and what it is wrong. You cant still be mad about it. I mean you can but are you still we like Depressed about it or something."

I looked up at her.  " Amy their is so much you dont know about me We both may do alot of one night stands but amy I am broken. I am ruined. I am.... I dont know. I have so much I am dealing with."

"  Tell me. You can always talk to me. Always." Her voice was filled with longing for me to open up to her.

I nodded " After school meet me at Bobs cafe. ok."

" ok" then the bell rang an we headed off to class.