Drawing Hope In Progress (5H/you)

Chapter 87

James Arthur: Quite Miss Home

Y/n's pov:

"What is heavier," I lean back on my side of the hotel bed and stare at the ceiling wishing the tears would come so the burning would stop, "200 pounds of bricks or 200 pounds of feathers?" I lick my lips and feel the small crevices from my lack of drinking water age my lips as my tongue passes over.

"I..." there's a long pause and a deep breath while I'm sure Lauren is trying to figure out why the answer is so obvious. "The bricks?"

I shrug my shoulders understanding the thought process as it is rather obvious to an extent. "I suppose I should have been more specific. Sure the bricks are heavy but they have a physical weight. It's jus a bunch of bricks." There's a dip on the opposite side of the bed and I feel the cool of her acrylic nails tap on my arm. "But if you try to carry 200 pound of feathers, you have to deal with the weight of that and with the weight of what you did to those poor bird."

"Well... fuck." The ceiling is a off chance of beige with stains from past plumbing issues that a 4 star hotel definitely should cover up. "That wasn't exactly what I meant when I asked you how your day is going." The edges of my lips push up slightly then falter back to a line. Her arm wraps around me and she pulls herself closer to my side.

"My day is dependent on my head. My head is heavy."

"Okay then let's get you back in your headspace. The girls will be back from the grocery store any minute and we're not performing or going out in public tonight so you should be in it anyway."

"Ya But.. but what's the point." There's a crack in the ceiling from a fight that the ceiling may have won or lost. "I go into my headspace and I'm good, everythin is good," I shift on the bed, my hand intertwining with hers. "And then I come out and I forget the good and that I'm good. I forget. I don't want to forget."

She sighs next to me, nodding softly as she sits up in bed and pulls me into her lap. I try my best to hold onto the covers so that she may give up the feeble fight of moving my heavy ass and possibly crushing herself but it is useless. I am useless.

I feel her chest rise and fall behind me as a small hum begins to fill the room. Her fingers lightly stroke my hair making my eyes go heavy.

I'm in the kitchen while you smoke outside
You're careful not to let the smoke inside
I always tell you it's poison
But I know it helps you take the edge off the day
We get a drink before it's closing time
The one on high street with the blinking sign
All these memories feel poignant
I won't be there to see the snow melt away

She sings softly, just above a whisper. I try to move feeling my limbs go heavy with exhaustion, but she holds me. She caresses my skin.

Oh
Yeah, I been gone on business
I gotta make some money
I really feel the distance

And I quite miss home
And I miss you telling me
To leave my shoes at the door
'Cause you just swept the floor
And the dirt drives you crazy
Yeah, I quite miss home
'Cause it feels like poetry
When the rain falls down on the window
While you're in my arms
And we're watching the TV
Yeah, I quite miss home
Yeah, I quite miss home

I smell you cooking from the living room
And then I tell you that I love your food
I know it doesn't come easy
But you know it reminds me where I'm from

Whoa
I'm in another city
I got nobody with me
And it just really hit me

That I quite miss home
And I miss you telling me
To leave my shoes at the door
'Cause you just swept the floor
And the dirt drives you crazy
Yeah, I quite miss home
'Cause it feels like poetry
When the rain falls down on the window
While you're in my arms
And we're watching the TV
Yeah, I quite miss home
Yeah, I quite miss home

And I quite miss home
Yeah, I miss you telling me
To leave my shoes at the door
'Cause you just swept the floor
And the dirt drives you crazy
Oh, I just miss home, no, no
'Cause it feels like poetry
As the rain falls down on the window
While you're in my arms
And we're watching the TV
Oh, I miss home
Yeah, I quite miss home, no
Oh, I quite miss home
Yeah
Yeah, I quite miss home