Motley Crue - You're All I Need (Vince Neil/Nikki Sixx/Tommy Lee/Heather)

47: Stranglehold

~ Amanda's POV ~

- a few days later -

Ever since I walked in on Vince destroying our hotel room, I've tried hard to keep my distance. Tried is the key word here. I tried as hard as I could, but I was unsuccessful. Of course I was going to see him constantly. We slept in the same bunk or hotel room, and there was no getting around that. When we were together, I was silent. When we weren't together, I was ensuring myself that I could avoid him later when we were.

I could feel him trying to get closer to me, but the more he tried, the further I pushed him away. I didn't even want to hear his excuses for why he didn't want to make love again, or why he trashed the room after I needed a minute to cool off. I was growing so frustrated with him altogether.

As much as I wanted things to go back to normal, I couldn't stand the thought of forgiving him again. Especially now when we were both acting like nothing even happened, like he hadn't cheated on me. It hurt. I was reminding myself of it each and every moment and I felt like he had forgotten about it entirely.

"Oh, that's not good," Hannah said after I filled her in on what happened back in Dallas.

We were sitting together backstage, watching the boys play. Digger was talking with us too, but he went off to talk to the other guys when I wanted to talk to Hannah about Vince.

"I don't know what's up with him, he's all over the place lately," I said, staring off into space straight ahead of me.

"He's probably going through the same thing you are, trying to figure out how to be together again without it being weird," she continued, giving me a hopeful smile.

"But destroying a hotel room?" I questioned, chuckling a little at how ridiculous it sounded.

"Everybody copes in different ways," she said, shrugging to me in hopes that I could understand her way of thinking.

"I just wish none of this ever happened, everything is so complicated now," I said, longingly looking back to the early days of our relationship. Things were so effortless back then.

"It could be a lot worse," Hannah said, still trying to make me feel better. "It seems like he really cares about you still."

Hardly, my mind tried to say. I interrupted it, he cares about me! Right?

"Yeah," I said, sighing lightly.

- later that night -

There was a party of sorts happening between all of the buses and whatever people from the show that sneaked their way in. It was a pretty fun party, but I spent most of it trying to stay out of Vince's sight.

"Why aren't you over there with Vince again?" Digger asked, teasing me lightly.

"I just need a little break from him," I said, watching him from across the outdoor yard the party was going on at. He was talking to one of the opening bands and Ozzy. I had been too nervous to introduce myself to him yet, and I wasn't going to take that opportunity now when Vince was with him.

"Hey Vince!" Digger called out.

"Shut the fuck up," I rasped under my voice, hitting his arm.

Vince's head whipped around to see Digger across the yard, now waving him over to us.

"You're so gonna pay for that," I said, laughing as Vince started walking over to us. I may have seemed a little angry by that, but I was enraged by it.

"What's up?" Vince asked once he got over to us, nervously putting his thumbs through the belt loops of his jeans.

"I was just calling you over, Amanda said she wanted to see you," Digger said, smirking at me in a triumphant gaze. As annoyed as I was, I knew he was just trying to be a good friend. He walked off and soon Vince and I were alone.