Motley Crue - You're All I Need (Vince Neil/Nikki Sixx/Tommy Lee/Heather)

71: Always Somwhere

- over a month later -

~ Amanda's POV ~

"Great," I muttered, pulling my pants up and throwing the gross "pee stick" into the trash can. "Stupid fucking tests," I groaned, looking at myself in the mirror now, wondering if I was going to start crying or not.

Yes, the answer was yes.

Vince and I had been trying for months now, and I still wasn't pregnant. There had to be something wrong, or something had changed. I've been pregnant before, without even trying, and now that I want to get pregnant, I can't? You've got to be fucking joking.

"Amanda? Sweetie," Vince said, lightly tapping his knuckles on the outside of the bathroom door. "Can I come in?"

"No," I said lowly.

"Please?" He wondered.

I knew that there was no arguing with him in this, so I got up and unlocked the door, but not opening it. He heard the door unlock and opened it himself, finding me sitting on the bathroom floor in front of the sink crying.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Vince said, sitting down beside me immediately and wrapping his arms around me. It reminded me a lot of the time that I had first gotten pregnant, when we were in my apartment and I was crying just like this on the bathroom floor. Except this time I was crying for the exact opposite reason. "We'll keep trying."

"I don't want to keep trying," I said, sobbing a little now.

"W-what?" Vince asked, his voice growing somber after realizing just how upset I am.

"I'm sick of this, Vince," I said, keeping my tone calm as I turned to look at him. My eyes read pure hurt, and I could tell that Vince could see exactly how I felt. "I can't get pregnant anymore, let's just face it."

"We don't know that," Vince said, in a strong attempt to comfort me.

"Do you see two lines on any of the tests I've taken? No, you haven't," I said, pouting now, thinking I could be done crying...but I was wrong. More tears flowed from my eyes, I couldn't even stop them. This made me more upset than I ever thought I could be. The younger Amanda would've thought this was a relief.

"Maybe it's me," Vince insisted. "I'm older."

"You're not even thirty years old," I said.

"You aren't either," Vince said.

"Well something's up," I said sternly. "Because we both know it wasn't hard for me to get pregnant in the past."

"So maybe we should go see a doctor?" Vince asked, reaching around me to grab my hand.

"I fucking can't," I said, putting my hands in front of my eyes, trying to physically stop the tears from flowing out of them any longer. "I can't go through all of that, Vince," I said, weeping and crying like a baby of my own.

"Okay, okay," Vince said, gently grabbing the side of my head within his opposite hand, insisting that I rest my head on his shoulder. He stroked the side of my head as I continued to cry, it really only getting worse. "We don't have to go."

"But I still want to have a baby with you," I said, sniffling in hopes that he could still understand what was coming out of my mouth at this point.

"You can't have it both ways," Vince said.

"Why not?" I wondered.

"Either we go and see what's wrong, or we may not be able to have a baby," Vince explained.