One Rule

Chapter 21

I spent a good portion of the night of Kit's wake scrubbing my hands and arms raw. It seemed like it didn't matter how hard I scrubbed, the blood just wasn't coming off. Eventually, I gave up and sat down.

"What are you doing?" Kozik asked, coming into the bathroom. I was sitting in the tub, just staring at my hands. The tub was bone dry, and I was wearing a long black sleep shirt.

"Just thinking," I replied.

"About what?" he asked, kneeling by the side of the tub.

"Hale," I replied quietly.

"That guy was your neighbor, right?"

I nodded. "He was more than that. He's actually the reason you and I met," I admitted, looking over at him.

"How do you mean?" Kozik asked, brushing my hair back out of my face.

"We screwed around a bit when we were in high school. One time he told me that I should go to college out of town. From then on, the idea was stuck in my head," I explained. "I ultimately settled on Seattle, and then I met you." I took a deep, shaky breath, fighting back the tears. "So I mean, I'll always be grateful to him, for that."

"Hey, it's going to be okay." Kozik stood up and climbed in the tub behind me. I situated myself between his legs and rested my back against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. "It's okay," he mumbled.

"I don't like feeling this helpless," I admitted after a few moments of silence. "I can't do anything to help anyone."

"That's not true," Kozik said, his voice cracking slightly. "You help me every day."

"How?" I asked, straining to look at his face.

"If it wasn't for you, I'd have probably gone down a darker path a long time ago. You make me want to be a better man, and I try to be someone you'd be proud of everyday," he said, tears streaming down his cheeks.

I turned and straddled his lap so that I could wipe away his tears. "I am proud of you, everyday." I leaned down and kissed him softly.

"You do more than you think you do," he told me. "You just don't give yourself enough credit." He pushed my hair back, "I love you, Diana."

"I love you too, Herman," I replied, resting my forehead against his.

That made him laugh, "Wow, you must be serious if you're busting out my first name." He kissed my face and I couldn't help but smile. "Come, let's go to bed. That has to be more comfortable than this tub."

"Alright," I nodded and stood up, putting a hand on his shoulder to balance as I got out of the tub.

He got out after me and led me to the bedroom, turning the light out in the bathroom as we walked out. "In," he said, pointing to the covers.

"Pushy. I like it," I teased, getting into bed.

He laughed and peeled off his shirt before getting into bed. He moved in close, throwing an arm over my waist. "Get some sleep. You've been through enough today."

"Okay." I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths until I fell asleep.

The next couple of days were rough. I toughed it out at work and went to Hale's funeral. I had to stay behind while most the guys went up to go meet Gemma. I heard something about taking her to Canada. Opie told me they had a lead that Abel was in Vancouver.

They left me with Kozik and three new Prospects - Filthy Phil, Shepard, and Miles. I wasn't a giant fan of Shepard, but the other two didn't seem so bad.