𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ✄𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐤𝐢 𝐬𝐢𝐱𝐱

✄ 32 ✄

Hollywood, 1987
(Gwen's point of view)

I had awoken in my bed on that dreadful morning. I remember it clear as day. I had a slight headache from Stephanie's small tantrums from the night before. After getting up in the early morning, I headed downstairs to make myself a cup of coffee.

After making myself a cup, I walked outside on the patio to watch the sunrise rise above the horizon line with the portable radio at my side. I was listening to the news broadcast as I watched the birds fly around in the cool morning sky until I heard something that caught my attention.

"Mötley Crüe bassist, Nikki Sixx, sadly passed away last night in his sleep. While some are believing it as a natural cause, others are perceiving that the cause of his death was from an overdose on herion," The broadcast continued but my mind didn't.

I looked at the radio in disbelief but they kept talking more and more about him as if he really was dead. Out of shock, I stood up but I dropped my mug of coffee by accident.
"Shit!" I silently hissed, watching the coffee run all over the brick.

My breathing started to grow heavy and I felt like my legs couldn't hold myself up anymore. I collapsed onto my hands and knees as my heaving turned into sobs. My heart felt like someone was squeezing it.

He can't be dead. He just can't! I wanted to tell myself that Nikki wasn't gone but the broadcaster officially stated it. He was gone.

I cried to the point where I felt like my lungs were about to give out. I wanted nothing more than to bring him back and start over but I couldn't. I had already burned that bridge with him and there was no one that could change it for me. Not even the ghost of Nikki Sixx.

"Gwen? Oh my god." I heard Chrissy say out of worry.

I didn't want to look at her. I wanted the rip my eyes out from my sockets just so I didn't have to see anyone.

I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders but I didn't bother to turn to their arms for an embrace. I just couldn't bring myself to do anything. I was numb, and no emotion in the world could affect me.

"Mommy? What's wrong with Auntie Gwen?" I heard Stephanie ask Chrissy in her young, angelic voice.

Chrissy was silent because she didn't know the answer to provide for her daughter. I knew they were confused to why I was bawling my eyes out. I had to tell them, so I heaved in a breath to finally speak.

"He's dead." I sobbed, leaning more towards the ground. "Nikki's dead." I said in a shaky voice.

I quickly breathed in to try to calm myself, but it didn't work. I only felt the need to scream. All of my frustrations towards myself were trying to burst through. I tried to hold it in for Stephanie's sake but I couldn't contain it anymore.