Being with Calum began to feel uncomfortable. It felt as if all these feelings that were swarming inside me, were always meant to be there. For some reason, I felt as if they just didn't belong. Inside our small room, was quiet most of the time. The air felt tense and like so many words needed to be said but weren't. I lie there trying to to put something together for me to say but nothing could be put together. I felt as if Calum could and should be just a friend, and nothing more, nothing less. I felt as if he may have been coming off a bit too strong on trying to piece our relationship back together. Again, I didn't quite feel this way. I didn't want to be in a relationship, and I don't want things to feel as if they have to be that way.
By the time we had to go to the kitchen to prepare for dinner, I had strongly pieced the words I needed to say together. It was after we had finally set all the plates down and went to our room, I thought was the best time to say what was on my mind.
I sat on my bed, and tried to cool myself down a bit. Either the air was hot, or I was just simply sweating my nerves out. I saw as he sat on his bed, and said," Listen Calum. We've had a long past with each other. Much of which consisted of debating whether or not we should've taken a step further in our relationship," I got his attention pretty well. " But, I just can't do it anymore. I don't like this feeling as if our entire lives we were "meant" for each other. You've made my life super complicated in the past. And I just can't deal with that. So, I just want to be friends with you. Nothing more or less than that. Also, please please do not pull that friend zone bullshit. You shouldn't have to pull that misogynistic card because I don't want to be with you. So please, if you could accept it, that would make moving on with our lives much easier. " I felt confident with what I had said. I meant to say it and I had regretted the least bit of it.
He looked at me though, with those beautiful brown eyes I could never get enough of. But even beautiful brown eyes can't save someone like him.
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The boy next door (Calum Hood fic)
Fanfiction"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up."
