What did I do? [Suicidal Deku x Bakugo][discontinued]

Chapter 1

Izuku Pov

It's my first week in the dorms. I actually like it because I can do what I want without my mom looking through my room. Before we moved in I snuck two boxes filled with booze into my stuff because of the quarantine. And I have a couple packs of cigs and some weed in another box. I'll be good. Now my 'other' stuff was harder to sneak in.
I had to make a bunch of secret compartments in my suitcase to hide all my razors and first aid stuff to clean my cuts. It's my second night and I'm getting hammered tonight.
"Shit!"
I forgot to bring my colognes to cover the weed and alcohol smell. I forget whose next door but it doesn't matter whoever it is will probably have one I can borrow.

I went over and knocked on their door and the door was quickly opened by a tired looking kachan. "What the hell do you want shitnerd?"
"Don't get your panties in a twist I just need to borrow some cologne or air freshener I didn't bring mine."I groaned
"What did you crap your pants?"
"You could just say no, I'll go ask todoroki"
"No I have some air freshener if you can tell me why."
"I need to cover a smell so I don't get in trouble."
"The smell of what"
"Why do you care?" I raised and eyebrow
"Because I'm curious. Now start talking or I'll punch you"
"Punch me then because it's none of your damn buisness" I glared at him
"When did you get so secretive" kachan tossed me a bottle of air freshener
"When did you get so into my buisness"
"Sassy."
"Thanks for the air freshener. When the house arrest is up I'll buy you a new one" I left before he could say anything and went back into my room. Then I locked my door and got out my pot box.
After I got all my stuff ready I turned on some music and smoked for a bit.

After I smoked a blunt and a bit out of my bongs I hid everything in some secret compartment I made into my desk. I've made a bunch of these compartments all over my desk and bed and shelves. After maybe a half an hour of being fried I got hungry and realized I didn't have any food in my mini fridge.
To make it look like I was sleeping and not smoking I sprayed air freshener everywhere on me and my room and messed up my hair and changed into sleep clothes. Then I went downstairs to the kitchen only to once again find the spikey blonde haired boy, who was the last person I wanna see.
I rolled my eyes and went into the fridge and grabbed a couple things then closed the fridge with my foot.
"Trying to get fat nerd?" I turned around to find kachan smirking at me
"You wish. I'm just taking some of my snacks up to my mini fridge because I'm gonna study for a while and want food to be close."
Once again I walked off without giving him a chance to talk. I could hear him getting mad screaming things like "SHITTYNERD" "YOU THINK YOURE BETTER THAN ME?" And I smirked as the elevator closed before he could get there.
Once I got back into my room I stocked up my fridge and sighed.
"Shitnerd.... yea he's probably right...."
I grabbed a bottle of fireball and drank a bit and then a bit more and before I knew it more than half the bottle was gone. The alcohol didn't hit yet so I got bored and all the things people have said to me over the years got to me.
I haven't cut in 39 days. But I need to before I scratch my wrists open instead
I took out all of my equipment and started.

1 cut for being dumb
2 cuts for being a disappoint ment
The list went on and on
24 cuts.
I smiled lightly down at my masterpiece then cleaned my wounds and wrapped my arms.

I heard a knock at my door and quickly hid everything and used the air freshener.
I opened the door to once again be met by crimson eyes.
"What do you want I was sleeping"
"I'm bored. All the other extras are asleep and I want someone to chill with. Also you have an Xbox. Can I come in?"
"Fine sit in my desk chair"
I let him in and closed the door then sat on the bed and handed him the controller.
"You aren't gonna play?" He looked at me questioningly
"Nope not in the mood."
"Alright then"
Kachan started playing and after about half an hour he paused the game then went to my mini fridge and before I could catch him he found all my beer and a few other drinks that were in there. The rest were in a hidden compartment.
"What the hell nerd!? You drink!?"
"What if I do? Why do you care?"
Kachan glared at me
"Is this what you were hiding before?"
"Again I say, why do you care?"
"Because I do ok?"
I rolled my eyes and stretched. That caused my sleeve to fall down showing my bandages
"And what the hell are with these bandages"
He grabbed my wrist causing me to wince and yelp.
"None of your goddamn business!"
He pinned me to the bed "show me your arms."
My eyes widened and I started to struggle
"what! No!"
As he pulled up my sleeve and unwrapped my bandages I started to cry and beg him to not look
He went silent.
"K-kachan?"
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?!"
I cried hysterically and pushed him away and I ended up falling off the bed.
"IM SORRY I TRIED TO STOP AND TODAY IS MY FIRST TIME DOING IT IN 39 DAYS."
I quickly pulled out my secret first aid kit not caring that he was screaming at me and rewrapped my arm. Then I curled up in the corner and he got quiet.
"Tell me where all the razors are."
"W-What?"
"Tell me. Where. All. Of. The razors. Are."
"N-no!"
Kachan grabbed me and hugged me.
"Listen D- Izuku. Instead of cutting please just talk to me. Or anyone. Just.... doing this to yourself isn't ok."
"I know it isn't" I sighed
"Then please.... show me where all the razors are.... and I will know if you lie."
I slowly showed him where all my blades were.... I had forgotten how many there were... 52 razors.... shit...
"Holy shit deku..."
I looked at the floor "I know.... I'm pathetic..."
Kachan groaned then hugged me... I was super shocked
"K-kachan why are you hugging me?"
Then I heard a sniffle...
I looked up at Kachan and he was crying
"Kachan! Why are you crying"
"BECAUSE I PUSHED YOU TO DO THIS!"
"NO YOU DIDNT!"
I hugged Kachan tightly and we both cried for a few minutes and I slowly fell asleep.

Hope you liked the first chapter :)))
I'm gonna update this story as much as I can