Brooklyn Nine-Nine

21 | Kenny & Apologies

"Sarge, what in the everloving fuck are you doing?" Taehyung asked one morning. "Yoongi, we have to go bust a perp right now so hurry up."

Hoseok was in swim trunks, sitting in an inflatable pool in the middle of the precinct. Yoongi had joined him as well, sitting right across from him with a can of Sprite in his hands.

"Just two bros chillin' in a hot tub," Yoongi replied.

"Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay," Hoseok added.

Yoongi took off his sunglasses and looked Taehyung in the eye. "He's lying."

"We're homie-sexual, Yoongi," Hoseok insisted.

"Only closets say that, you fuck," Yoongi grumbled.

"My therapist recommended having me-time even when I'm at work," Hoseok said. "He said some of my trauma stems from me being hardworking and proceeded to call me a dumbass."

"Who's your therapist?" Jungkook asked, curious.

"Mr. Bang."

"Dude, we just arrested him," Jungkook replied.

"God Jungkook, stop living in the past." Hosoek groaned and put his sunglasses on. "You're so sensitive."

━━━━━━━━

"Guys!" Jin announced out loud to the precinct.

He walked out with a little boy with a backpack on. The boy grinned and turned his hat around.

"Ooh, my boy going to school!" Jin praised as the boy started posing. "Fuck it up, Kenny! Kenny, fuck it up."

"Isn't that the kid who was in the holding cell for vandalizing his school?" Jimin asked.

"Yes, but he's going back thanks to me," Jin said. "How're you going to thank me, Kenny?"

"Uh... I'll get you a present?" Kenny suggested. "On your birthday."

Jin stared at him. "So you're just gonna bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday party with a birthday gift?"

Kenny shrugged. "Yeah?"

Jin grabbed a paperweight from Jungkook's desk and hit Kenny over the head with it.

━━━━━━━━

"Taehyung, I'm going to fucking murder you," Yoongi said to his co-worker as they walked back into the precinct after their case. "Did you really forget how to assemble your fucking gun?"

"I couldn't find the trigger! I'm sorry!" Taehyung argued. "It's a new gun!"

"Can't navigate, can't assemble a fucking gun, so what can you do? Huh?" Yoongi snapped. "You're a fucking disgrace for a police officer."

Yoongi stormed away, leaving the precinct in absolute silence. They stared at Taehyung, who was frozen on the spot. The corner of his lip twitched downward and slowly formed a pout.

"Wait," Taehyung whimpered. "I'm sad."

Jungkook bit into his donut. "That was the most awkward fucking thing I've ever witnessed and I've witnessed a lot of awkward fucking things."

━━━━━━━━

"You called for me, Captain?" Yoongi asked, walking into Namjoon's office.

Namjoon glared at him. "You publicly humiliated Officer Kim in front of the whole precinct. Where is your professionalism, Officer Min?"

Yoongi narrowed his eyes. "He almost let the perp get away because he couldn't assemble his gun in time. Where's his professionalism?"