Never Go To A Stark Party

Chapter 19

After having been told that his life could potentially be in danger, Bucky realized he was not ready to die yet. Not in the slightest.

A day had passed since his appointment with Bruce, and he found himself in a tough fucking predicament. He hadn't yet talked to Steve or Natasha and had instead locked himself in his room, once again barricading himself away from the outside world.

It wasn't until Tony was knocking on his door that he finally talked everything out.

Getting up with an annoyed flourish, Bucky stomped angrily to his door.

"What?" He hissed, venom laced in his tone. Tony, who was standing casually in front of him, widened his eyes in mild surprise. The first time he talked to the guy and Bucky already hated him...wasn't it supposed to be the other way around?

"Geez." The billionaire scoffed, "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today." He pushed Bucky out of the doorway and then proceeded to enter his room, strutting like he owned the place--which, technically, he did.

"How have you been, James?" Tony asked as he took the spot Bucky had been sitting on moments ago. He glanced over at him, nothing but...casualness on his face. It irked and confused Bucky.

"....Fine."

"Oh, really?" Tony quickly responded. "That's funny. 'Cause Steve seems to think you're not." He let out a short chuckle, the sound not humorous in the slightest. Tony was playing with him and Bucky knew it. "He's been ranting and raving and pulling his hair out, all over you. He seems to think you're far from fine."

Bucky didn't like getting played with, though. He'd been fucked with far too many times the last few decades—if Tony had something he needed to say then he needed to just get it the fuck over with.

"What do you want, Tony? If Steve sent you here then you can just go back and tell him I'm fucking peachy." He then walked back to his bedroom door and opened it, motioning for Tony to leave.

Tony didn't.

"Straight to the point, huh?" Tony smirked lightly and nodded, standing up. He then walked to Bucky. "Alright. Steve's worried about you. So is Natasha. Now I don't know what the hell is going on with you three, but I need you all to work it out. I'm tired of not knowing what's going on, of being teamed up against." He exhaled a heavy, soft breath before continuing, "But I'll deal with it if this is something you three can't tell me. I just need you to talk to them, James...Bucky. Please."

He maintained eye contact with the brunette for a few seconds before slowly, hesitantly, putting his hand on his shoulder.

"They love you and well, I love them. That means I love you, alright...?"

It was obvious that Tony had to force himself to say the words, but Bucky appreciated them anyway. He knew Tony didn't really express his feelings via words.

He sighed, looking down. "...I can't talk to them about this. I can't even talk to myself about it. I'm...I'm terrified, Tony."

"Of what?"

"Of dying!" Bucky's gaze shot up to Tony, his pupils small and panicked. "If I give birth to this thing, I could die! Those fucking—those Nazis fucked my life over! They're gone and I'm supposed to be free but it doesn't even feel like it, because no matter what they will always find a way to hurt me! And they did!"

Quickly, Bucky's eyes filled to the brim with hot, angry tears. "And—and I don't want to die! I've spent nearly my entire life trapped under someone's finger, and now I am again! I want to live! I-I wanna see the world, I want to hold Steve and tell him I love him because now I finally fucking can! I want to do so many things...But I can't tell them that because they're already counting on me. I promised, Tony!... I promised Nat I'd do this for her."

"If I go back now, what good am I? I'll just be another headache...for not only Steve and Nat but you."

Bucky shook out of Tony's hold and walked away, head held in his hands. Now that he was actually speaking out how he truly felt, he realized it just made him feel even worse.

Tony turned to stare at his retreating, slouched back, unsure of what he should say.

He bit his lip lightly, eyebrows furrowed. 

"Listen, James..." His eyes then lit up as a sudden idea of what to say popped into his head. "I know what you're going through. Maybe not so much with the, uh...pregnancy thing, but I know how you feel when it comes to feeling like you have no one to talk to but everything to do for everyone." He then approached Bucky once more.

"It feels like shit." He stated plainly, his tone humorous but face serious. "It wears down on you after a while. So, you try and keep on this brave face, crack a few jokes here and there and give a smile, but it won't ever hide the fact that you are slowly...dissolving. But you can't ever let them know that, because you're their friend, the strong one. When shit goes down, you're supposed to be the one to cheer them up. I understand how you feel, Bucky. You're supposed to bless them with this gift, but there's a big fucking price to pay, and no one's got any money."

Tony sat down next to Bucky.

"I'll be the first one to say it. You don't need to give up your life, Bucky. You know, you, uh, you kinda...," Tony lightly blushed as he trailed off, embarrassed of what he was going to say. "You remind me of myself. I always felt like I needed to give everyone something, like I owed the world my life. But I don't, James. I don't owe anyone. I owe myself, and so do you. Whatever you choose to do, you owe it to yourself to do it. Don't let your desire to make them happy cloud your own happiness...I wish someone had told me that before."

He once again rested his hand on Bucky's shoulder, keeping it there for a few minutes before eventually getting up.

"But you should talk this out with them. They have a right to know." Tony offered him a genuine smile before beginning to head to the door. "Just don't tell them you told me first, alright?"

"Yeah..." Bucky attempted to offer him a small, thankful smile. "And, uh, Tony?"

"What's up?"

"...I'm sorry."

Tony let out a soft exhale of breath, a lighthearted but strained smile playing on his lips. "Thank you."

As he exited, Bucky thought his words over. The entire situation seemed to be a dream, it was too unbelievable to actually be true. Tony came into his room and comforted him? After he hadn't talked to him even one bit? After he killed his parents and nearly ruined all of his friendships?

He sighed softly and laid back on his couch, a slight ache in his head. It was barely there, but it was more than enough to keep Bucky aware of what was going on: he hadn't talked to Steve in a day and had instead holed himself up in his room.

In short, he was running from his problems like he had done many times before.

He needed to talk this out.

A/N: FINALLY!!! Tony and Bucky are friends ;w; I hope you guys liked it <33333