Never Go To A Stark Party

Chapter 20

Steve ran to Bucky's room as soon as he got his text. It had been only a day since he talked to him, but that was long enough to make Steve panic. Being alone and being Bucky was never a good combination—he only hoped that whatever his partner had thought of in his head didn't do too much damage.

He knocked on the man's door when he got to his destination then opened it when he heard a soft, 'Come in'.

"Buck!" He called out immediately upon entering. "Buck—"

"Shh..." Bucky shushed him, interrupting the blonde's shouting. He was laying on the couch still, head propped up with his hand. "I'm right here, doll."

Steve quickly turned his attention to Bucky. Relief washed over him once he saw him safe and sound and simply lying down. "Thank God..." He muttered, beginning to walk to him with his arms open.

He engulfed his lover in a tight hug and proceeded to nearly squeeze the life out of him. "You're an asshole, you know that, right?" He questioned as he teared up and held Bucky, unable to hold back. The past day had been hell for Steve. Every second in the dark was pain, he nearly had a breakdown. He was having a breakdown.

If Bucky decided he no longer wanted anything to do with him because of yesterday, Steve would...he'd do nothing. He'd be nothing.

As quietly as he could, he cried into Bucky's shoulder. The sound of him sniffling made the brunette's heart swell with shame. Steve crying because of him was starting to become a recurring theme in their relationship, and that made Bucky want to punch himself. That was so far from everything he actually wanted to make Steve feel.

"I know I am...I'm sorry, Steve." Bucky rubbed his back, then, with not too much of a struggle, pulled Steve onto the couch with him. He held him close and tight. "I'm sorry I keep doing this to you...You deserve better."

Steve didn't answer and only breathed his scent in, his smell a calming thing for him. He kept his face buried in Bucky's neck even when he was finally calm enough to talk coherently.
Bucky decided to take the time to play with his hair.

"I love you, Stevie...I always will. I may not show it very well, but I do. You've been my everything since we first met."

Steve slowly removed his head from Bucky's neck and made eye contact with him, eyes teary. "I love you more. Please, Buck, stop running from me." He cupped Bucky's cheek gently as he spoke. "I'm here for you. I know this is hard for you, and I know you don't like to talk about things like this. That's just how you are. But this is something you have to talk about. I understand if you're scared about giving birth, I know Bruce laid it on kinda thick...that's why I need you to trust me. Before I was your partner, before you were brainwashed, before I was like this, we were best friends. We were best friends that told each other everything. And I believe we still are, Buck."

As Steve spoke the heartfelt words, he couldn't help the crack in his voice. He was so scared of losing Bucky again. He was terrified that this pregnancy was going to ruin all of the progress they had made together, and if he could go back to the day they had sex, he'd stop himself from doing it. Because at least that way, Bucky would have never got pregnant, and he wouldn't have to feel this way.

Steve would have done anything to ease the male's pain.

It took the brunette a few moments to respond. Eventually he did though, and he kissed Steve afterward. His action surprised Steve. Either he had bad memory or it slipped his mind, Steve couldn't remember Bucky ever initiating a kiss. Just the thought alone of Bucky yearning for Steve enough to kiss him first left him stunned, blushing.

Quickly recuperating however, he kissed the brunette back before he had the chance to pull away. Despite his worry and heartache, he craved Bucky; lusted after his lips, his touch, his body—him. He knew deep down that his long-time friend could do anything to him, and Steve would still follow and love him like a lost puppy.

All too soon, Bucky broke the kiss apart so he could breathe. Quietly he breathed against Steve's lips and rested his ahead against his. With each warm breath, Steve could feel a wave of comfort flow through him.

For a while, they didn't speak. Bucky was still rolling the blonde's words over in his head, while Steve was trying to prevent the moment from ending.

"...Is it going to hurt?" Bucky asked suddenly, quietly. Steve paused at the question.
He sighed softly. "Probably, Buck. C-sections are safe and all, but healing is going to take at least a few days. It's surgery." There was no point in lying to the man, he figured. If he wasn't honest and upfront with him now, then once Bucky learned the truth, he would quit the entire thing.

It took a few minutes for Bucky to respond. He exhaled a heavy breath before he did. "I'm still going to do it," He paused for a moment or two before resuming, "I'm just scared. I don't want to die, Stevie...I-...I want to live." The crack in Bucky's voice immediately worried Steve and before he could say a word more he was pulling him into a tight hug.

His conversation with Tony flashed in his head and as they hugged each other like it was the last time they'd ever touch, Bucky wondered how he'd be able to possibly word what he felt. He spilled everything to Tony like he was his lifelong friend, yet he couldn't to the actual man who was. What was wrong with him?

But then Steve kissed him again, needier this time—harder  this time—and Bucky realized he didn't need to word anything right, or even wrong for that matter. He just needed to bare his soul to Steve like the blonde had done for him.

...That sounded a lot easier.

A/N: IM SO SORRY IF THIS CHAPTER HAS MISTAKES, I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO EDIT IT 😭😭😭😭 but anyway I'm really sorry it's such a short chapter ;") I hope you all still like it tho!