I LOST HIM🥀

Chapter-Four

The week is almost over. We are going back tomorrow morning. That mean today is our last day here in Paris.

I don't want to go back!!!

I'm happy that I came to this trip.
I've made many memories which I'm taking back with me.
I've found new friends.

And.

I've found Blake.

Ever since that night under the stars Blake and I have become really close friends. It's like something between us changed. We are more open to each other. We share everything now. We spend the whole day together.

He is the first guy best friend I've ever had.

Or maybe even more.

All I've done since that night at the club is Thinking.

I've been constantly thinking if breaking my promise of 'no-dating' for Blake will be worth it?

Don't get me wrong! I know Blake is a nice guy and all. But....

I'm scared!!

And it's not even that he asked me to date him.

I'm really stupid for overthinking!!!

As if a guy like Blake will ever like me.
He just think of me as a friend.

But he made the promise of forever!!!

Urgh..shut up inner me!!!

I don't know about Blake.

But I'm sure of my feelings for him.

He is all I think of when I'm alone. He is all I search for in a crowd. He is in my 3 a.m. thoughts. In my 11.11 wishes. He is my last thought before I sleep and the first name i take when i wake up. I want to see him in my dreams when I sleep and he is the person I want to wake up too.

I know, I know it's super sappy and all.

But...but it's true.

But I can't tell him.

I can't tell him or else I will lose the friendship I have with him.

I can't take rejection.

So...

All I can do now is be there...be there with him as a friend...and nothing more!!!

But I'll take whatever I get.

As long as it means I get to be with him.

<><><><><><><><><><>

"Hey Ray!! I was wondering if you'll come with me to the Effiel Tower?" Blake said.

We've got the evening free to do whatever we want.

"Urghh...I'm really tired Blake and I want to sleeeep!!" I groaned.

"Come on Ray...we're in Paris and you want to sleep!" Blake chuckled making me glare at him.

"Okay..fine..but we are coming back soon because I want to sleep and---"

"And you love your sleep more than anything!! I know..now come on sleepyhead!!" Blake said cutting me off.

"Jerk" I said.

"I heard it!!!" Blake said leaning against the door.

"You were suppose to!!" I exclaimed.

"Now come on Ray!!!" Blake pouted.

"Fine...God!! What crawled up your ass and died!!?? You are soo demanding today!" I said dramatically.

"You still love me!" He winked.

Don't blush.

Don't blush.

Don't blush.

Don't blush.

Damn that blush!!!

"You wish!" I scoffed.

<><><><><><><><><><><>

" So beautiful!!" I said in awe looking at the Tower infront of me. The sun is about to set so it will soon get dark.

"Indeed it is!!" Blake agreed.

But he was not looking at the massive structure infront of us.

But He was staring at me.

1

2

3

There comes the blush!!

He sat on the grass and motioned me to do the same.

I sat down next to him amd rested my head on his shoulder, he wrapped his hand around my waist giving me support.

"I don't want to leave." I said.

"Me too!!" He agreed.

"I'm scared everything will be back to as it used to be before. We won't not talk much. We won't spend time. I'm scared this will end." I said quitely pointing to me then him.

"Don't be. Don't be scared. Nothing will change..It never will. Look Ray,  I'm glad I met you, you're different from all the girls. Your smile has the power to light up the whole room including me. You make everything around you better without even trying. You are the most amazing girl ever seen. And I won't let you go. I can't help but think of you everytime I'm alone. You're beautiful inside out. Never forget that you are the best.NVER." He said looking into my eyes.

I was so lost in him that I didn't notice how close we were. I can feel his minty breath. I can feel his chest rising. I can feel him leaning forward.
And I can feel myself doing the same.

I closed the little distance we had crashing my lips to his.

I am kissing Blake!!!I am kissing Freaking Blake!!!

And He is kissing me back!!!

The kiss is slow and passionate and everything I can ever think of for my first kiss. His hands hold me by my waist lightly but securely.

This feels so amazing!!!

Fuck the butterflies they talk about in novels!!! I can feel the whole freaking Amazon jungle inside my stomach.

Sitting there under the pink and purple sky in the City of Love I had my first kiss. And I wouldn't change a thing.

For this is all I've ever wanted and more!!

We break the kiss. Both our breathings heavy due to the recent event.

But then is the time reality finally hit me like a truck.

I KISSED BLAKE.

I WAS THE ONE TO INITIATE IT.

IT WAS ME.

God can it get any more embassing!!

What if he didn't like it?

What if he didn't actually want it and it was just a spur of the moment thing!!??

I'm an idiot!!!

And then I did the only thing I could think off.

I ran

Drum roll guys!!!!! So yeah they finally kissed. Did you like the chapter?? Well hope soo. Much love❤