The Fading Darlings.

Chapter fourty seven.

The text Austin sent me awakened me.

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Austin:Is it true you fucked Shane then ruptured your vagina? Is that why you were missing for two weeks? Were you in the hospital?

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Them two weeks I was 'missing' was the two weeks I spent with Paul...what is he talking about!?

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Me:What are you talking about? I am still a virgin for Christ's sake!

Austin: Then where we're you in between them two weeks???

Me: I was with my friend Paul! That's when I got my tattoos and piercings.

Austin:Then why is Shane telling everyone he fucked you then ruptured your vagina causing you to go to the hospital??

Me: I don't know! Last time I saw him we were yelling at one another and he got mad enough to make up these rumors I guess...

Austin: Everyone's talking about it..

Me: Please tell everyone it's untrue!

Austin: Anything for you.

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What the hell...I knew Shane wasn't going to just say "Fine, fuck you." And that be the end of 'us' of course he would make a crazy rumor like this.

I just moved here and he has ruined my reputation... This isn't fair, I didn't even do anything wrong.

I got out of my bed and went to my bathroom I was so mad, not sad, mad.

I looked in a box full of shaving razors, I took a deep breath. I torn open the razor to wear I could hold a sharp, cold metal blade in my hand.

I licked my lips.

I never thought I would do this, but here I go. 

I took the first cut on my left thigh, one, two, three, four, five.......eleven, twelve.....twenty.....thirty....thirty seven....fourty eight...

I exhaled.

My leg was stained in dark red blood. Deep cuts. I then repeated cutting on my right thigh. After fourty eight more I sighed, OCD.

My arms were weak, my breath was slow and calm. My mind was blank and my tears were dry.

I felt...good....I wasn't mad. I was...relieved, I felt fresh and tired.

I cleaned off the blood, now seeing ninety six deep cuts.

I smiled, they were...pretty.

That sounds pretty fucked up, but they gave me relief and calmed me looking at them.

I put the blade in my dresser and laid back down in bed.

I stared at the ceiling in the dark feeling empty and cold, but I liked it.

It was a strange but good sadness.

I woke up from what felt like a two days worth of rest the next morning.

I looked at my phone, I had a text message, It was David.

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David: Hey we need to talk...can you meet me at The Corner Block Coffee Shop?

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The Corner Block Coffee Shop was the small cafe a block away from David's house, I didn't bother texting back, I knew what he wanted to talk about.

That lying sack of shit Shane.

I went to my dresser to find something to through on but something caught my eye...a shiney piece of metal-my blade.