New Amsterdam's Max Goodwin X OC.

Shoulders.

"Hey. Did you hear me?" I looked up and smiled as Walters folded fabric ready for a new child to be in the ward. A harrowing tale would be told but hopes of them being safe was all that was needed. Children came and went but some stuck. As I shook my head though Walters spoke again.

"Cole is leaving soon so I suggest you say goodbye to him now and leave. We don't want the parents to see you cry as they take their own baby home." My lip had popped out and a squish was given as well as a kiss to his forehead. No tears falling but it was going to be tough when I fancied a hold though people had to pass through. It was a hospital after all.

"I need to meet Matthew for a walk. A whole month now he has been sticking to his bed as long as I visit and we get our daily walk in." I rolled my eyes ever so slightly but I loved spending time with him as he was so kind and he had been a permanent part of the hospital for many years on and off.

The halls filled as I walked and found the floor and room. The signs leading to his room were forgotten as I knew the path so well and he was so determined on the walk and chat that I had to learn how to get there off by heart. Though as I walked down his hall it was a little emptier than usual so it was easier to get to him.

"Matthew. I am late but we have longer to talk. Now, I want to see what you think about the new bed that you have. And also what you think about blue and green. Matt, I know I am late but come on. Matt? Can you talk to me?" Panic was sure to be in my voice as I approached the turned man. No machines attached so his state would be unknown but he was always up and alert for our walk. Until then.

"I NEED HELP." I cast through the room into the hall and I paged for help. Not that many would tell as the rest of the hospital needed help. Sure enough though nurses entered and I began to start the process of chest compressions. Hoping to get a pulse as those in the room attached an ECG to him. Not that it was any help as it remained flat.

"Clear." Was spoken and I backed off as pads hit the chest and a pulse was sent but nothing happened and after three further shocks I was back at it and my hands crushed against the chest as a hope of just getting a goodbye better than him insulting me and than in return I insult him. Jokes of never missing one another's company.

Tears brimmed and a voice telling me that it was best to call it was heard but I kept going. Blood from the machines that were attached fell onto my hands and the tears washed the dirt away. He couldn't be gone. Not my Matthew. Sounds emptied from my head aside from the 'clear' but it seemed that the shocks had stopped at one point. My arms heaved heavily and the usual sounds of an unresponsive body filled in. He hadn't made any improvement and the time seemed to be slipping away. Every second was a lesser chance of him ever making it.

My eyes had become so blurred that his body was fading from my eyes and I felt my arms tire out. Rough hands grabbed my shoulders and I crumbled. Telling them to call it as I walked out. Leaving them to deal with it. Hoping to get away from the carnage of the room.

As soon as the door was closed I stepped to the left and I fell against the wall. Slipping to the floor and my hands covered my face. Knees up to my core and sobs filling my aching chest as I reminisced on my time with Matthew. Not that it could last long as a sound came from across the hall and a pair of all too familiar trainers were noticed from between my legs. That was when I lifted my head.

"Sorry Goodwin. I have finished my shift so I will be off." My hand wiped away the water and almost definitely snot as I cried freely. Then it stopped as he watched me leave. Not saying a word to me but I was able to see him stand as I walked off. Not for long as I turned the corner and then saw that Bloom was at large on talking to a nurse.

"Hey, Waters. What happened?" She had forgotten to finish the conversation as she stopped to make sure I was okay. Not that it would matter as I walked on to try and prevent any further emotions from pouring out.

"I'm fine Bloom. Honestly, just a tough shift for me is all." She looked ready to act but didn't do anything as she turned back around and finished up with what she was talking about. I didn't see much more of the hospital as the doors were opened after the lift was left and then, I had to go home.

By the time the car had halted and the key turned my mind was ablaze with what I had done. Or what I  hadn't done after all. I was late to meet him and if just if I hadn't been late. He may have been alive at that very moment and not in the morgue after all his life it became limited to that moment. Where he was laid on a bed. Lifeless with no one beside him as life slipped on by.

Before anything else could have happened my phone began to vibrate and I snapped out of it. Saying and comprehending nothing aside from hanging up and Matthew. Though the caller seemed to be persistent as they called again. Only, I didn't answer the phone. My house keys picked out from my pocket and my hands shifted to open the door.

My house was empty and soon doors opened to let in the fresh air until the front room was found and my phone vibrated once again. This time though I turned it off and threw it onto the sofa only to slump at the foot of the chair and I cried. Matthew had taken part in so much of my life that he was my life. At the hospital at least.

The time must have been ticking when suddenly my back felt heavy. A hand met it and soon a head as the person comforted me. The smell of a very pungent aftershave hit me and my arms fell loose around my legs as I turned to hug them closer. Goodwin had taken it well as he pulled me to rest on his lap as I let my head face his chest. Wetting the fabric below me but it didn't matter as my eyes jammed closed and my hands clutched onto the scrubs he hadn't even changed from since leaving the hospital.

"Sorry. I appreciate that you don't like leaving the hospital. You shouldn't have come all this way just to see me." My breath was awful as the air seemed to condense and his face became clearer as my tears had halted in their tracks.

"You know, I came here to make sure that you are okay. I have been working at the hospital for months now and I am yet to see you break a promise. To fail and most importantly, I haven't seen you so broken." His face was kind as I finally got the nerve to look at it properly and not with it being partly covered by his scrubs.

"If you want you can have some time off and you can..." He spoke but I didn't listen as I pulled back and looked it him whilst I was on my knees. He sat with his back against the sofa and his legs stretched out to my right. The glass shining a natural light over the both of us.

"No. I thank you but I am not going to step back all because of some incident. I would quite like to stay as I am thank you. Dare I say it, my life is all right for now. Don't look so uncertain. I am sure of my decision." My stubborn nature took a public viewing as he saw me put my foot down and my eyes stared him down.

"Quite the fierce one." His hand fell to my cheek as he cupped it and my hand lifted. Pulling it closer to my face as he did so. My eyes closing and then all of my memories flooded with Matthew and his face. One that would stick with me forever.

"I heard that a certain baby was taken back by his parents today as well." I nodded still holding onto a warm hand that was considerably larger than mine as well as warmer. Though he didn't seem to notice my coldness or blatant fear.