To Express Happiness || Fayne ✔✔

The Room 🎲

Aaron comes home, drenched. He rings the bell, and Ariana opens, giving him a towel. He nods a 'thank you' and goes to this room slowly, aware of the water drops falling as he goes.He opens his Levi  and throws it to the laundry basket. Shirtless, Aaron's cold skin touches the cold bedsheet and it all goes with the flow: he is relaxed, and he shouldn't be. However the situation might favor, Aaron heeds to Ashley's words, as they become tightly glued to his brain. He feels the need for analyzing everything, and everyone before he takes a single step, as he is about to take a big one now: seeking Mrs. Reeves'  permission.

Aaron goes down from the stairs slowly, analyzing the mood of his mother as her back is on him, doing something beside the sink and singing a lullaby. He approaches her slowly. aware of anything that might cause her mood to change. She turns herself, and stares at Aaron, stupefied. 

''You wanna tell me anything, Aaron?''

Aaron stops on the way to kitchen. This is the final moment. He could do it again: panic, cry, scream ; but he won't.  At some point, life was nothing to him but a series of problems, waiting for organization, and how Aaron wished he could smoke the joint and solve this one too. From that day of examination, Aaron learned one thing : thoughts can be heavier than legs. Hence, fear may just be a thought rather than a feeling. He sinks all the angst inside him and he clears his throat.

'' Ma..it's like...after vacation few of my friends decided to go to San Francisco so I..''

His mother stops scrubbing, not looking at Aaron. 

Aaron's voice turns into whisper as his throat becomes dry. Suddenly panic ripples across his entire body, and he can't help it. He closes his eyes, remembers the rule of the triangle: everything is wide and vast until it comes to the closest atom of the apex, and all comes out at once. This is a one-shot. One dice roll - and it has to be lucky. 

With a grim voice, his mother replies, ''You know my answer Aaron. It was always a no '' .

Aaron blinks, keeps blinking, trying hard to hide the pathetic tears. As they shall drop, they shall leak all the life out of him, or whatever that remains.

She starts scrubbing again, like everything's normal.

Aaron takes a moment to fight back his tears and speaks with a voice as low as possible. ''Ma....I have changed. I really have. I have new friends...I have a new life....please I need to go--''

''What life, Aaron? What life? Are we not doing everything for you? What do the other kids have that you don't? And did you ever think what we really want from you? ''

For the first time, aside from the thought of ' why am I even born in this family' , Aaron blames himself. He knew this day might come, when he has to pay for being depressed; of not being anything and anyone in this world . One day, he had to pay for his own mistakes, and this is the day.

He rushes to his bedroom and lets it all out. His pillow gets wet on one side, so he flips it on the other and continues. He opens the phone, and realizes he didn't touch it after Zack's blackmailing. The text flashes like hope, glittering with Aaron's tear as they roll down his cheeks. 

' ....I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU''.

Aaron presses the red button to go home, and it displays the option of either saving it as a draft or discarding it. He chooses the discard option, but doesn't click it. He wants it, but his hand doesn't. His thumb reaches up, and he saves it as a draft. He has no energy to fight , because there is nothing to fight for: he has lost; torn, scattered and battered by his own self. It's all his fault, and it makes him question his core of existence : why is he even alive? What has he even achieved?

Someone knocks on the door and Aaron, rubbing his eyes and clearing his throat, says to come in. For a split second, he thought Mrs. Reeves had changed her mind, but to his disappointment, Ariana pops her head and gives a smile too wide. 

''Leave, Ariana, not now. ''

As Aaron shifts to the other side of the bed and from Ariana, he feels the weight of the mattress shift as Ariana lies down beside him. 

''What do you want?'' Aaron says, sobbing.

''Remember, bro? We had dis amazin' trip to Cali last summer? Damn dawas good''

Aaron stays silent, sniffing.

'' Remember how we went to the barn and played with all the children? You stayed in your room all day like lol. You didn't even go downstairs for dinner.''

Aaron closes his eyes.

'' But ya know... i was thinking bout that and....I gez that you need to get out of this room, ya know. Go out more and, make yo' world big, ya know. ''

He opens them. 

Sensing the silence, Ariana says afterwards. '' You missed sooo much. We went riding along the farmlands, saw the fireworks at night, visited the tree house, had dinner on the open, with the bonfire....''

Aaron pulls the blanket over his body.

'' ..with Marzia'' .

He covers his face, but Ariana could hear the caterwauling underneath the covers, as she leaves the room, saying nothing else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day.

There it is, the last day of examinations, and probably the last day of Aaron meeting the gang before the vacation. Aaron dresses up, and climbs down the stairs like a zombie; Ariana eyeing him as he does. Black bags hang beneath his puffy eyes. The silence in the dining table plays the drama, as they three are seated together after a long time. Momentarily, Mrs. Reeves breaks the silence, clearing her throat.

''So....this Ashley girl called about your holiday.'' , she speaks while buttering the toast.

Aaron stops as he is about to crunch his bread.

''You didn't say Inspector Betton was going along with you?''

''He...IS?'' . Aaron widens his eyes as much as possible.

''......''

'' Pack everything before you leave, okay? And don't forget the medics. Above all, Aaron, always stay with him.''

Aaron finishes his bread like he was in a feast. Finishing his milk, he rushes upstairs, only to halt as Ariana says , ''Why are you going to the room? You have brought everything, here.''

They both smile.