Boy. 17. Lost.
Aaron is at his last year in high school when he sees his reflection in the mirror and cries. His whole life is a mess, with him always fighting with his thoughts. Depression has always been in his bloodstream, with dark clouds circl...
''You...dated...your...cousin..? Is that what you mean?''
Shae isn't sipping. Shae isn't moving. Shae isn't saying anything. Shae isn't looking anywhere else. Everything he just heard is true, and he could already feel how hard and dense this truth might be as it makes his drink difficult to gulp. He could literally stand up and just get away from him, and end this once and for all, but instead he stays calm, and Aaron wonders if this is the calm before the storm but continues anyway.
'' Not really. It's a long story...'' .
Aaron keeps the glass away and leans closer to the table, while Shae leans back.
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'' It happened last summer. We were invited to my uncle's farmhouse. Well..uncle was a distant cousin of my father. He used Father's reference to get into the Air Force, and as a token of gratitude, we got to stay there for two whole weeks. Well...me being me, was always very timid. They were a joint family, and the house was always full of people but I never talked with anybody. They had three spare rooms and I was given one. That room was everything. For more than 3 days, I sealed myself into that room, and got out only on dinnertime and breakfast; often skipped lunch. Soon I was a hot topic in the house, as to how shy, lonely, introverted and depressed I was. Those three days were the worst days of my entire year''.
Shae listens, but says nothing and looks away. After a few seconds, he nods.
Aaron takes a sip and continues. '' Suddenly, on the forth day, I heard several knocks on the door. I did not answer. When the 'knocking' turned to banging, I shouted a '' WHAT'' , but no answer. She kept banging and banging until I opened the door. She quietly introduced herself as being 29 and 12 years older than me. I just said I'll skip lunch for today, but she was already inside the room. I requested her to go, but she won't. She just sat by the window, and suddenly started talking about how cloudy it was that day. Our conversation started with baby steps...with small talk about school, but as the sun came down... it was running. It become so interesting that she shifted to my side on the bed as we chatted. Starting from which colors of socks I liked to wear to the deepest part of what-is-life, everything was in the air. I shared about my problems about being manipulated by my own thoughts , and for the first time felt a weight lift off my chest. The next day, as I went out in the garden, everybody gave astonishing stares, like I was a visible ghost. I felt my heart clenching, but then I saw her and her smile full of hope, and so I mirrored it. I carried that smile everywhere I went, and it helped. One day we--'' .
Suddenly, Shae's phone start ringing, so he gets up and pulls it out his pocket. He sits down, answering it. ''Hello, Ash. I'll call you later, Busy. Bye''. Saying that, he tosses his phone on the table upside-down and gestures Aaron to continue. Aaron takes a long sip to return life to his dry throat.
'' Where was I?...Yes. One day we had a trip to a nearby amusement park where I got a chance to meet her again. Not only that, except bumper car, we went to every ride together. Heck, we even shared a drink. Suddenly, I realized that I was not thinking about myself anymore; rather, about what could we do next. There was a 'we' present, and some part of me stuck to it like an invisible yet invincible thread. Everything she did was perfection. Everywhere she went, I never left her. I felt this thread getting shorter, but thicker. By and by, this want shifted to need, and so I missed her from 'Good Night' till 'Good Morning' . Another day, we went flower-picking in the eastern garden, and she made me a bouquet of flowers while I made hers. I carried it all the way to the house and kept it in a vase. The next morning, when I woke up, I was her: I could smell nothing but her flowers, see nothing but the colors of her flowers, and when I got up and touched them, it was truly her'' .
