Because I Love You

20| Stay or Leave

"Tia, you're drunk. That's enough." Marco, Lacey's husband tried to stop me from taking another shot of vodka.

Hinayaan ko na makuha n'ya ang baso ko ngunit agad na umabot ako ng isa pang shot. Hindi ko alam kung ano'ng alak 'yon pero diretsong ininom ko na lang. I shut my eyes tightly as I felt the trace of fire on my throat.

I was about to take another shot but Lacey slapped my hand. Sa lakas ng tampal n'ya ay natumba ako sa pagkakaupo ko.

"Let me be, Lacey! I need this!" I hissed at her. I tried to get another glass. Nang magtagumpay ako ay inagaw naman 'yon ni Lacey sa kamay ko at ibinalibag ang baso sa sahig kaya nabasag.

"Wala kang karapatang mag-inarte!" galit na sigaw ni Lacey. She pointed her finger on me. "Everything's your fault! You're so selfish," she added in a disappointed tone. "Dapat ba matuwa si Travis na aalis ka? Ilang ulit kitang sinabihan, pero 'di ka nakikinig. Ikaw lang naman kasi ang palaging tama, 'di ba? Matalino ka e. Edi ikaw na!"

My lips parted. I can feel my lips trembling.

I know! Alam ko lahat ng 'yan, Lacey. At sising-sisi na ako.

"Hon, enough. She's suffering already," Marco hushed his wife.

Marahas na pinahid ko ang mga luhang tumulo sa mukha ko. "Wala na akong magagawa. All that's left is to accept and understand my decision. And he chose to end us."

I can feel the stab in my heart over and over. Para akong pinatay ni Travis n'ong tinalikuran n'ya ko. Para akong inagawan ng hininga nang pinanood ko s'ya na lumalayo sa akin.

"You know, Tia, I love you. And I am hurting because you're hurting. I am damn mad at you because you never listened to me!" Lacey cried. "If you're not Trav's what would you be? Kasi sa tingin ko, sa lahat ng achievements mo, sa lahat ng recognition and success mo sa buhay, si Travis lang 'yong part na masaya ka talaga. He's the only thing that really matters in the end. You could lose everything and still be happy with him. But you lose him... everything else won't make sense."

I covered my face with my hands then I cried my heart out. 'Yong hagulgol ko parang sa namatayan.

Fuck, my heart just died.

"Love, may tumawag sa phone mo," Travis said as he saw me stepped out of the bathroom.

Still drying my hair with a towel, I reached for my phone on the bed.

Trav's busy with his laptop. When I got here, he's already working on it. Kumain lang kami kanina nang mga dalang pagkain tapos ay nagpaalam ako na maliligo na muna. After our lunch, he went back to his laptop.

I bit my lower lip when I saw who called. It's the HR manager of the company. I also received a mail reminding me to get my tickets and flight details on the office. We'll be off to New York next week.

I looked up at Travis. I haven't told him yet. I don't know how to.

These past few days, Trav has been problematic and stressed out. Whenever I ask him, he said that everything's under control and nothing out of hand. But it shows how hard it is for him.

"Work?" He asked, without peeling his eyes off his laptop.

I almost jump at his sudden question. Nang hindi ako sumagot agad ay tinignan na n'ya ako.

"Y-Yes..." Wala sa sariling sagot ko.

Trav frowned. "You're here early today. Nag-early out ka ba?"

I bit my lip. I can't lie to Trav.

"Love, I have something to tell you," mabagal at kabado kong sabi.