Uh... Which Dr. Kim?

Countlessly repeating

(I think you guys will hate this, but I want it, so... it's here )

Problems at work were relatively simple but by the end of the day, I was close to slamming a motorcyclist's head on the pavement to remind him why he needs a helmet. The idiot threw out curses and racist slurs when I wouldn't accept his sob story.

He's lucky I had a senior with me, but if I ever saw him without any people around... He'll understand just who should be an entitled asshole.

"Oh, would you look at that. Officer Who-doesn't-know-when-to-rest Manoban is actually excited to get off from work."

Ten singsonged.

I ignored him and continued shoving reports in my bag. Police work is almost ninety percent paperwork. I normally finish everything at the station because they're boring but I want to go home as fast as possible.

"I wouldn't bother her, Ten. You know how she gets when she doesn't see Ms. Park for a long time."

Jin stopped by Ten's desk and used Ten's stapler.

Ten smirked at me when Jin wasn't looking. He knew I heard Jin even if he whispered the last part. Has it become common knowledge that I get cranky when I don't see Chaeng?

Ten's lucky I want to meet Chaeng already, or else I'd smack him. Dumbass knows I'm not in a good mood.

"Bye."

I left the station.

I was excited to see Chaeyoung again, I haven't talked to her except texting for goodnight and good mornings. But my heart's racing in my chest.

The things I can't change about me, the things I've never talked about, my entire being, I have to lay it all out. I have to tell her everything.

Even if it means I'll hurt her. Even if it means she'll hate me.

That's the problem.

She can't hate me which means she'll always hate a part of herself for not hating me. Once I confess everything it'll be like giving her no choice in the matter. I don't want to do that, not to someone I care so much about.

Fuck. Whoever said 'the truth will set you free' was a short-sighted fool. Knowledge limits choices and cages one's thoughts.

But Jisoo was right.

Telling Chaeng what I was, gave me some respite but I was always wondering when Chaeyoung would find out I had withheld plenty of information and she'd realize I wasn't trustworthy. If I want to get rid of this doubt, if I want my relationship with her to work out, communication and transparency needed to be a top priority.

But how can I show the worst of me to one of the kindest people I've ever met? I'm fine with having my soul be pitch black, however, tainting someone like Chaeyoung is a crime I can't forgive.

This is all my fault. Curse my cowardice.

When I got home, I immediately started on my reports but instead of writing in my room, I chose to write in the living room.

By seven, I finished all the reports. I lied down on the couch, wallowing in nerves and misery. Chaeyoung didn't let me do that for long.

The doorknob clicked and my heart skipped a beat.

Panic threatened to suffocate me. I stared at the ceiling, taking deep breaths.

The hinges creaked as the door swung open. Light tentative footsteps and steady breathing were clear to my ears.