A Spaceman

Chapter 10--Falling in a Forest

***TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE AND CHILD ALCOHOL ABUSE ARE DISCUSSED AT LENGTH IN THIS CHAPTER . IF YOU WANT TO SKIP AND MOVE ON THEN THAT'S FINE TRUST ME WE'LL TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS***

I feel my foot land directly beneath a bent root seconds before my ankle hits it, pulling me to the ground. In my defense, it wasn't the fall that knocked me senseless, it was the oxygen tank on my back, lurching forward and hitting my head. That knocked me completely senseless. In the Space Forces defense, I'm sure our MTIs had lots better things to do than to notice that one of their cadets had fallen face first on the ground and suffered a terrible knock on the back of the head. In fact, I'm sure their jobs are so busy and they have so many things to think about, they just stepped right over little old me lying bleeding in the path. And I know for a fact that they had to have stepped over me because I'm the fastest runner and I was at the front and yes I was running on the right path we've run the same path every other day at this place I think I know where I'm going. Yes that should mean I knew where the root was but I'm happy to admit I'm not perfect. Nor are the eighteen odd people, ten of whom were MTIs who ran past me. and I'm sure there's a special place in hell for them.

But as it was, nobody apparently noticed me fall because I wake up, face down, blood in my mouth from biting my tongue, and alone. I roll over, only to roll onto aforementioned oxygen tank, and grimace. My head is pounding. And I'm dizzy.

"Hey," Ian is leaning against the offending tree, arms folded. "You doing okay?"

"Do I look okay?" I ask, sitting up a little, rubbing my head, "I must've hit it harder than I thought, huh?"

"Yeah, you got it pretty good," he says, brushing his red bangs out of his eyes, "Mum's worried about you."

"She's gonna worry about me more tonight," I say, "I'm in the brig---for something I didn't even do."

"Yeah, I heard. Ginny will tell her you're okay," he says.

"She's still going to worry---she thinks she doesn't know how to talk to me," I say, pushing myself into a sitting position painfully. "She thinks she's losing me."

"Is she?" he asks, raising his eyebrows.

"No! I only did this for the money, and the fun---I think it would be neat to be a spaceman," I say, looking up at the sky. The stars are hiding from me. "And we need the money. It's only the three of us now."

"Yeah, don't remind me," he says, a bit annoyed, picking up a stick and wandering a little with it.

"Okay," I say, shrugging.

"It's only the two of them now, with you gone," he says.

"No. I didn't walk out---" I say, angrily, rising to my feet.

"Neither did I!" he says, holding up his hands innocently, "Dad is the only one who walked out."

"I know," I say, taking a deep breath to steady myself, "I know. You would have stayed if you could have. and I am staying. I'm taking care of them."

"They want you there, they don't want money," he says.

"Look who knows everything now huh? I'm trying," I feel myself crying, "I hate it here, and I want to be home, more than anything---but Ginny needs to go to school, a good school, and mum shouldn't have to work till 11 at night, and I'm the only one who's there."

"Come here," he says, wrapping his strong arms around my shoulders, "Come on, hey, I know you are."

"I'm there," I whisper, sobbing.