A Spaceman

Chapter 6--A little night mystery

"All right, time for us both to get to bed," I say, turning off my machine and removing the harness, "Can you find your room?"

"I think so, sir," Clarisse says, slowly undoing her own harness. I wait, but don't help her with it. she can do it herself, I am sure.

"Down that hall, go down the tunnel on your right, then that's your dorm hall. I'm on the other side, room 08. If you need anything, at all, in the night just let me know. I don't care if you forgot how to use the bathroom, or got lost, or locked out of your computer, or whatever, for next six months, I'm your mom, okay? And you can knock on my door any hour of the night, and even if I'm swearing, don't worry about it, because I'm here to help you," I say, sincerely. And if she wakes me up at 0400 I probably will swear but I also want her coming if she needed anything.

"Okay," she says, nodding.

**

I remember the first time I realized that everybody else had a concept of right and wrong. Actually I learned two things that day. It was in school, I was something like six and half, and there was this other child who had a very nice tablet to read his lessons on. And because my wretched family had no money, I had to use the school's technology and had nothing at home and I could not read any of the books or things I wanted to. So I took that tablet, for an entire day, and hid in a closet reading as much of Shakespeare and Voughnagett and King and Poe as I could pack into my head.

Of course I was caught. The teacher slapped me. Ms. Thistendorf.

"That was very wrong to take Joey's tablet," she said, slapping my cheek.

"I wanted it," I said.

"There is right and there is wrong. And taking things that don't belong to you is wrong. Wouldn't you be sad if somebody else kicked you in the shin and stole your things?" she asked.

"No I'd kick them back," I said.

"That would be wrong. Two wrongs don't make a right. And doing awful icky things like taking people's things is wrong. It eats you up inside and one day you end up miserable and alone," Ms Thistendorf said. She missed two things. One was I liked being alone. Two was I was born eaten up inside.

And I learned two things.

One: other people have a concept of right and wrong.

Two: don't get caught.

I haven't been caught since. Well, not unless I want to be.

**

"How'd your date with the quack go?" I ask Titus, as he comes into the exercise room. I am just finishing my three hours. Starr and Jordan just left, Jordan talking with the new apprentice, Starr looking lost in thought. But he does that a lot. I like him, but he's moody, almost always wrapped up inside his own head. He uses his sarcasm with his superiors, and sternness with the cadets to ensure no one gets too close. I've asked Jordan and apparently it's hard for him to get close. 

"Fine," he says, hanging off the ceiling to drop into a running machine. His eyes look red though, almost from crying. And he feels farther from me than usual.

"Okay," I say, shrugging. Considering last time I saw him he kissed me I expected more but that was Titus, you never get what you expect.

"No, sorry, that was rude, I just--," he begins.

"It's fine," I say, going to the door.

"Major Tom----damn it to hell," he mutters, probably thinking I didn't hear, as I closed the door. I sigh. I want to go back in, but I know if I do I will end up kissing him again and I will regret that. He might too. If he regrets things.