A Spaceman

Chapter 18--And then there were several

Walking through the woods with Tom had so many ways it could go well. She could fall in love with me for one. She could choose to have sex with me. She could talk to me for hours and hours. My plan had so many opportunities to be perfect. And here I am, with the people I choose to pretend do not exist since I can't kill them, miles from Tess who I'm worried about, with Tom distinctly refusing to kiss me more.

There is supposed to be a road. Or a Space Command Base. I want to be picked up now. That was a part of my plan. My plan, if you'll recall, had many lovely components. One was irritate Thorn, he has limited alcohol so I think that's happening. Another component was get Tom to kiss me. That happened but she's partially rejected me on the grounds that we're lost in the jungle. No that reasoning doesn't make sense to me either but I will add it to my chart on understanding women. Maybe Tess will know, but she rolls her eyes at me of late when I ask her about women she's becoming one of them I think. Another component was meet Russian Space Command and try to find out who their general is whose been drafting the plans against the Isylgyns lately and then find out why he/she has been so out of form of late because I want to play with him/her. Then we go home.

Essentially nothing is going as planned. This doesn't usually happen to me. my plans typically go, well, according to plan. I don't know why this one didn't. Moreover something feels odd in my brain. Usually I can think on eight planes. Now it's like there's more than that. like there's something else floating in my mind. maybe it's you. Are you doing this to me?

"Are you okay?" Tom asks, tipping her head at me. Of course I'm putting the heels of my hands to my head, TRYING to think through all this you're no help are you?

"I'm-----no," I admit.

"What is it?"

"I'll----I don't know I'll tell you later," I say.

"I'm sure Tess is fine," she says.

"I wasn't------you're right I'm sure she is," maybe she's right maybe that's what's gotten in my head. It's not like her to feel unwell and there have been plague cases. Of course she's quite healthy but still. Nothing will happen to her. I couldn't---I couldn't have that. I need someone to talk to. the only one I can talk to she doesn't get cross with me, she never gets cross with me---well just when I deserve it and then she's only pretending to be she never gets truly cross with me. She loves me. Probably the only person.

"Um---I know you said we're not supposed to talk—"

"And we're not---"

"But aren't like, aliens supposed to be in these woods---"

"And like, if so what do they look like because---"

"That looks like an alien."

"Yeah, Titus, I mean, it really does—"

"What are you blithering about---oh shit," I say, turning around.

Now, as you may recall in my omnipotence, I have a deal with the Isylgyns, more like a pact really, which amounts to them worshipping me as a God. 

To the extent that I've made them memorize my rank and ID number and appearance and all that so that they don't, you know, kill me. not that I think they can because I've ingested their blood. but I don't know and I don't like performing lethal experiments on myself, if I can help it. 

I've also had them memorize Tom's ID number and general appearance so they don't kill her because she is my one true love. I'm working on Tess but she's not in space yet so it's not really an issue. But the point which I am trying to make is, as a general rule they regard me as deity.