My Alpha

new beginnings

It's been two weeks since I left Logan's pack. I have been home, and absolutely miserable. While I have missed my family, and my friends, nothing compares to the pain I have been feeling. Being away from my mate affected me much deeper than I had anticipated. The first time I came home after he cheated on me, it was hard. Don't get me wrong, but I always knew I would be returning. This time...

I'm not ever sure that I am willing to go back to Logan. And that is the truth. 

David and Darren have been amazing. They surprise me with food and movies and shopping trips all the time. My friends have been super supportive but having been away for so long, they've grown much closer without me. Cynthia, Sally, and Nataly have come over a few times and make a great effort to include me, but everything is just so different now. 

The time is currently 7 am and I am fully awake. I stretch out of my bed and roll onto the ground with an 'oof' as I land. I hop over to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I analyze my face and realize that although I have been missing my mate and feel incredibly week, I look fine. My eyes are worn and my smile is not as bright but, I still look like myself. I give myself a quick smile before I brush my teeth and walk downstairs to see my dad sitting at the dining table. 

"Morning, Dad." I mumble as I pour myself a glass of water. He doesn't respond to me so I move closer to him and take a seat. "Morning!" I repeat louder and he jumps in his seat.

"Oh sorry, honey." He responds and sighs looking down at the mountain of papers in front of him. I furrow my brows.

"Everything okay?" I take a sip of water and look at him as he shakes his head. 

"No..." He sighs and takes his glasses off looking at me, "Look, I know that you won't want to speak about this but, when you were living with Logan, did he ever mention any recent rogue sightings or worries?" I flinch a bit when I hear his name, but quickly shake it off.

I search my memory to think and nod my head as I remember one specific time he was very stressed out. "Yea, I think so. He came home one day from a meeting, and told me about how the amount of wolves being killed by rogues has tripled in the past week. He was very worried, we'd considered merging with some neighbouring packs to increase safety. Why?" I ask, even though I am sure that he's aware of the epidemic and looking for a similar solution. 

"That's all, I think I'm going to have to contact the Diamond Pack and discuss merging the packs." He murmurs to himself.

"That's Alpha Stefan, right?" I clarify and he nods. "Alright well, I think I'm going to go on another run." My dad's disapproving eyes meet mine and I shrug. Although I'm not spiralling towards death, I have been going on long runs almost twice a day and my family is getting worried. It's one thing being a wolf and letting your wolf out on runs, but Bella hasn't made an appearance since I left Logan. Their worries are fair but, nothing brings me peace like a nice long run. 

I slip away from my father's judgement and change into some spandex shorts with a white sports bra. Lacing my running shoes and throwing some earbuds in, I dash out of the door before anyone can question me and start my trail. 

It's almost as if the music isn't even playing and my thoughts take over my mind, as soon as my feet hit the pavement. 

I'm not nearly as heartbroken as I thought I'd be. I'm more so just numb. I am sad and hurt and lonely, but I have found comfort in myself. And as crazy as it sounds, for now I feel alright. I am positive that the effects of not being with my mate will catch up to me, and inevitably kill me, but I will live my best life until then. 

However, this may sound weird but it feels like my body is telling me something, as if something is about to happen. When you're excited for a certain date, like your birthday is coming up in a week, or you have a huge exam in a few days and your stomach is twisting, that's what this feels like. I'm nervous but excited and also confused, and I have zero clue why. This annoying feeling has been lingering since four days ago, and at first I thought It was Logan coming to get me, but I found my guess to be wrong. Very wrong.