You Give Me All The Feels

" KISS ME "

“Kiss me..”
“I’m scared”
“

What is there to be scared of?”
There’s a lot. I’m scared that kissing him means I might give up a piece of myself that I wasn’t ready to give up. I am not ready to kiss him and devote the next few months of my life to him until he, like everyone else, realizes he gets tired of me. He’ll leave, and I’ll have yet again gotten attached to someone. I’ll have my heart broken. I’ve been hurt so much that I don’t trust. That’s why all this fear builds up inside the minute some new spark ignites with a new man.
“I’m not sure if i’m ready for something new.”
“I’ll wait for you. A beautiful, kind soul like yours is worth waiting forever.”
“I don’t want to make you wait. You’re an amazing guy, and you deserve someone who can give you what you need. I can’t. I’m just kind of damaged. I need time.”
“You’re not damaged. I think you’re perfect.”
“Perfect?”
I can’t help but laugh. I wonder if he’s just saying what he thinks I want to hear, or if he’s serious. Either way, I know i’m not. My hair is too hard to manage, so I don’t. My eyes are a plain brown, and too big for my face. My smile isn’t attractive, and my laugh is even worse. If these qualities are “ perfect” in his eyes, then he’s as good a man as I thought. I wish I could be with him. I wish my damaged heart could withstand just one final blow. I’m so close to meeting my lips with his, but I can’t. My heart aches to let him into my life, but it’ll hurt too bad in the long run.