it's 1:42 am.
i'm casually scrolling through twitter when i see a post saying "it can't be true. it has to be a lie," coming from my girlfriend's account.
so i click.
and under her tweet, is a tweet from ABC News.
'descendants actor cameron boyce, dead at age 20'
my heart instantly shatters.
i start to breathe heavier.
i lose my sense of thought.
i comment on ABC's post.
'wait no.'
as if those two words are going to do anything to help.
i go to the search bar.
'camer-'
cameron boyce
36.5k tweets in the past hour.
i click.
the first few are just like me and my girlfriend.
'it's fake. it has to be. please let it be fake.'
'he's not gone. no way.'
the next post makes me angry.
'maybe if cameron boyce stanned bts he would've survived that seizure.'
i reply.
'fuck. you.'
i report them.
i keep scrolling.
'GUYS ITS ALL A HOAX. HES ALIVE.'
yeah.. okay.
i break down. i cant breathe. i cant type. i cant do anything.
i'm losing it.
thirty or so minutes pass and i finally open twitter again.
my timeline is flooded with nothing but love for the lost boy who we all grew up with on our tv's.
it still doesn't feel real.
i'm scrolling, someone retweeted an old tweet of cameron's.
'i'm not dead, i promise.'
the replies are full of grieving fans. every comment something along the lines of 'say it again. you have to say it again. say it right now.'
but he doesn't.
i move on.
i see a post, a screenshot of an instagram post.
it's cameron's last post. posted just yesterday.
it's a headshot.
then you look at the comments.
the first you see it from a man named kenny ortega.
'peter pan, the forever boy! love you, cam!'
he directed descendants. it's not a hoax.
after that you see skai jackson.
'i love you. forever in my heart 💔 👼'
she played zuri in jessie.
this confirms everything that i need to know.
i continue scrolling through twitter and i soon see another instagram screenshot.
it's a picture of a girl, cameron, and karan brar.
karan played ravi.
just recently, on may 14, karan and cameron moved in together. they didn't even have a full two months.
they are more than best friends.
they're brothers.
i cant imagine the pain karan feels.
i cant imagine what anyone close to cam feels.
he's such a good, kind soul. he had a heart of gold. he was an amazing actor with an amazing personality and he didn't deserve to pass so soon.
i grew up alongside cam. i watched as he went from this short annoying 12 year old boy to this amazing 20 year old adult.
i love cam. he was such a huge part of my childhood.
it feels as if i'm losing someone i was close to. someone i knew in person.
he's been here with me since 2010.
and now he's not here at all.
rest easy, angel. we love you.
it's 3:50 am.
