Head Down

◤twenty two◢

"Jeno!"

Jeno sees red the following Monday.

He sees red and refuses to stop making his way towards Jaemin's best friend, shrugging off his boyfriend's attempts to get him to stop.

"Jeno stop it."

Jeno doesn't listen, only picking up his pace once he finds Mark's mop of cherry red hair in the crowd. Upon locating his target, Jeno pushes through everyone in his way, and vaguely registers Jaemin apologizing to everyone behind him.

But Jeno's ears feel like they're stuffed with cotton, and his mind is focused on one thing and one thing only.

Donghyuck is Jeno's stepbrother. And yeah, it was a bit awkward at first, because they went from best friends, to boyfriends, to stepbrothers.

And yeah, their breakup was messy, and Jeno could never forget the guilt he felt when he saw Donghyuck pull up to his house with red eyes so that they could walk to school together. Donghyuck never once complained though, and he never said anything about Jeno breaking his heart, although it was obvious to the latter what had happened.

Donghyuck was still in love with him.

Jeno broke his heart.

Jeno could never forgive himself for putting the most important person in his life, his other half, his platonic soulmate, in that much pain. And yeah, Jeno never voiced these thoughts to Donghyuck, because he knows Donghyuck, and he knows that he'd take all the blame on himself and apologize for making Jeno feel that way—

And it isn't fair.

Because Donghyuck was too good for the world. And people didn't see it, because Donghyuck had to keep a front.

He had to make sure no one took advantage of him, that no one played him and that no one hurt him. Donghyuck made himself untouchable, and all Jeno did was play a role to help him with that. And now people loved Donghyuck. They praised him, they never got in his way and they glorified him. Donghyuck had a mask on, had a persona that he didn't let anyone know about. The only person who knew was Jeno.

And it's always been like that.

Jeno had always been the only one to know things about Donghyuck.

Jeno had been the only one to know that his mother had abandoned him. Jeno had been the only one to know that Taeil was his stepdad until Youngho filled for divorce. Jeno had been the only one to know that Donghyuck was gay when he first came out. Jeno had been the only one to know everything.

Until Mark Lee came into the picture.

Until Mark Lee came into the picture, kept showing up the only park Donghyuck found solace in, kept following in his stepbrother's shadow, kept showing up everywhere.

Jeno had been the only one to know everything until Donghyuck had decided to tell Mark about his father. About Jeno. About his sexuality, about his life, about—

Jeno had been the only one to know everything until Donghyuck had decided to trust Mark. To finally open up to someone else. To finally covet someone so much, to point where he confides in them. To finally move on from Jeno.

And what did Mark do with this? What did Mark Lee do with the privilege of getting to know Donghyuck, or breaking through all of Donghyuck's walls, of understanding who Lee Donghyuck really was?

He left.

He left.

Just like every other person who knows anything about the real Donghyuck, about how Donghyuck truly feels, truly acts and truly is.

People wonder why Donghyuck has a front up, they wonder why Donghyuck acts so different. They wonder how he goes from hot to cold within seconds, and they wonder how he changes his demeanour so rapidly. They wonder all these things, but then they leave before getting the answer.

Shouldn't that be answer enough?

Donghyuck doesn't want to get abandoned. He's sick of it already.

"Mark fucking Lee."

And Jeno roars. He roars because he wants people to know. Mark doesn't deserve to be let off the hook this easily. He doesn't deserve to get away with making Donghyuck cry himself to sleep and lock himself in his room every single night. Jeno hasn't even forgiven himself for doing that to Donghyuck, he'd never let Mark get away with it either.

Donghyuck's been ruined. He's been tattered and beaten and roughed up and shaped. But Mark? Mark might've ruined Donghyuck for the last time. This time, Jeno thinks Donghyuck is broken. And he will not let that pass.

"What—"

But Mark doesn't get so much more as a word out of his mouth before Jeno is ramming him back into the wall by his collar. He doesn't get a chance to suck in another breath before Jeno is punching him right in the nose, and he truly thinks he might need a nose job, with how much force Jeno used.

"You broke him," Jeno growls, making sure to look Mark straight in his eyes as he shoves the other to the ground.

Jeno barely makes sense of Jaemin gasping in the background.

"You messed him up," Jeno continues, pushing Mark down onto his back and climbing on top of him in order to keep him restrained. He punches Mark's left cheek. "Are you proud of yourself?" He punches Mark's right cheek. "Was this what you wanted all along?" He punches Mark's jaw. "You son of a bitch! You broke him!"

Everyone watching is too afraid to step in, everyone in awe of what's happening in front of them.

"Lee Jeno!"

It's Youngho who calls his name, but Jeno doesn't care, he doesn't acknowledge it. All he sees is red while making sure Mark can physically feel everything he made Donghyuck go through.

The voice of the principal snaps Jaemin out of his frozen position though, and he finds himself hugging Jeno from behind in order to restrain his arms.

"Jeno, please, stop it," he begs, and he sounds so choked up. Jeno almost wants to ask why. But then he remembers that he just beat up his boyfriend's best friend within an inch of his life.

He doesn't know how he feels about that.

"Lee Jeno. Office. Right now."

Jeno used to think that Youngho held all the authority in the world in his voice. But once he got married to his mother, Jeno lost all sort of respect for him.

He gets up anyways, he's panting and his chest is heaving. Mark is laid on his back on the ground, eyes closed and face a mess of reds and purples.

Mark bruises easily, Jeno thinks.

"Jen," Jaemin mutters, holding Jeno's bloodied and torn knuckles between his hands. Even after everything, Jeno still hears the concern in Jaemin's voice. It makes his heart drop to his stomach. "Jen, you're hurt." That makes Jeno's heart plummet to his feet.

He takes one last glance at Mark, subconsciously glaring.

Jaemin holding his hands like they didn't just beat his best friend to a pulp almost makes Jeno feel bad for hurting Mark.

But he also knows that Mark was more than capable of fighting back.

If he thought he didn't deserve it.