Head Down

◤forty one◢

Jaemin is at his locker, laughing at something Donghyuck said as he puts his books away. Donghyuck hadn't seen a smile like that on the other's face in around a week, and to say the sight is refreshing would be an understatement.

Donghyuck feels a weight lift off of his shoulders.

Which is weird; he didn't know he was already so attached to Jaemin.

"Your laugh is so pretty," Donghyuck says, unaware of his word choice until after it had already slipped from his mouth.

He bites his tongue, and he feels so stupid. He's ready to apologize profusely, but, much to his shock, Jaemin lets a small smile crack onto his lips.

Jaemin was going to say thank you, was going to tell Donghyuck that it was okay. He can see the concern flash in his friend's eyes, and as much as the compliment stings, he doesn't want to worry Donghyuck anymore. He's been doing enough of that as is.

But he doesn't get to, doesn't get to say anything to Donghyuck before he feels a presence loom over him from behind.

And he thinks it's pathetic how he already knows who it is.

"Only I get to say that," Jeno declares, stoic, as always. He has his chin held high, as if he was proud. Donghyuck guesses he is, in the sense that he's even standing this close to Jaemin. "You can leave now, Hyuck."

And normally he wouldn't. Because Donghyuck stands his ground. That's who he is, and he doesn't listen to orders from anyone. Much less when it's Lee Jeno, pathetic, heartbroken Lee Jeno. But if it weren't for the talk they had this morning, if it weren't for the way Jeno had a sense of determination which he didn't have for the previous two weeks, he wouldn't have considered leaving.

Despite his relationship with Jeno being complicated, he trusts Jeno. And he knows that if he can trust Jeno, that he can trust Jeno with Jaemin.

Jaemin always came first to Jeno anyways.

"That's my cue," Donghyuck calls, watching as Jaemin's eyes widen with the prospect of being left alone with Jeno. He almost feels bad, if he doesn't have hope for the possibility of the potential conversation the two of them could have. "See you at lunch, Jaemin."

Before the aforementioned can protest, Donghyuck is leaving, and Jeno is walking to occupy the spot where he was standing.

When he finally looks up to see the boy standing in front of him, Jaemin feels his breath being taken away.

He hasn't seen Jeno in around a week, trying his best to avoid him in public. He's looked at photos of them on his phone, but right now, staring at Jeno, he can see the differences between the photos and real life.

Jeno is even more beautiful in real life. With his sharp nose and killer jawline, his soft eyes and his brown hair, Jeno is everything Jaemin could ever want. 

Where people see a cold, vicious bully, Jaemin sees the love of his life. He always had. And he always will.

He's rendered speechless, so he's glad Jeno is the one speaking first.

"Your hair looks good like that."

Jaemin feels his heart skip a beat.

"I also saw your name in the top three on the list of the top scorers from the previous exam. Congratulations."

Jaemin finds it hard to breathe.

"Donghyuck told me that you also got your first A+ in calculus and vectors. I'm proud of you, I know how hard you work in that class."

Jaemin feels pressure build behind his eyes.

"I also heard some kids talk about you turning down that Yangyang kid who tried asking you out? That's good."

Jaemin's throat closes up.

As Jaemin is staring at Jeno, they finally lock eyes.

"You look so gorgeous right now, wow."

Jeno sounds breathless and Jaemin feels helpless.

"You're being unfair," Jaemin whispers, feeling the tears start to pool in his eyes. "So, so unfair." He adds, shaking his head as he looks down at the ground. Sometimes, despite how handsome he is, looking at Jeno hurts.

"Sweetheart, I can't lie to you," Jeno sighs out as a response, and Jaemin sees his shoes move closer. He cups Jaemin's cheeks, using his thumbs to wipe at the tears on his cheeks.

"But you did," the younger chokes out, relishing in Jeno's touch while simultaneously acknowledging that it burned. It's been so long since Jeno has touched him.

Jeno doesn't say anything at that, simply
taking a few more steps closer and pulling Jaemin to his chest.

Pathetically, Jaemin doesn't push him away.

"You're hurting me." Jaemin cries, voice muffled from where he's pressed against Jeno's chest. Despite Jeno's arms being the most comforting feeling Jaemin has felt in a while, his heart still hurts.

"Would never hurt you, my love," Jeno mumbles, pressing a kiss to the younger's head.

Jaemin cries harder, knees buckling. It sends both him and Jeno onto the floor, and he's so glad the hallway is empty and void of staff and students alike.

"But you did!" Jaemin yells. He wants to maybe hit Jeno's arms of something, but he can't bring himself to inflict even the tiniest bit of pain onto the older. "M-My heart hurts and it's y-your fault!"

"It is, isn't it?"

Jeno sighs, patting the back of Jaemin's head as he lets the other cry.

Jeno's heart hurts too.

"I hate you." Jaemin whispers.

"I love you." Jeno says back.

"You're the worst."

"I love you Nana."

"Y-You ruined me."

"I love you, Na Jaemin."

Jaemin whimpers, feeling a fresh batch of tears sting behind his eyes.

"My Jeno."

"All yours."