Head Down

◤twenty five◢

Donghyuck thinks Taeil looks unhappy.

Or maybe he's seeing everything in a darker light because he's unhappy. That sounds about right, but Donghyuck doesn't want to think like that for too long.

Back to the point though, Taeil looks unhappy as he packs his things away at the end of the day, and Donghyuck thinks, with his beautiful and upset mind, that Taeil looks unhappy because he doesn't want to go home to an empty house. Realistically speaking, Donghyuck would be unhappy going back to an empty house too. And Donghyuck feels similarly to Taeil, he always has. He grew up with Taeil, he gained most of his mannerisms from him as well.

"Taeil," he calls, watching the older man halt his steps as he searches for the source of the voice. His eyes finally see Donghyuck, and the latter swears that his eyes light up before going back to being expressionless.

Donghyuck skips over to the teacher, looping their arms together as he starts to lead them outside of the building. Unlike Taeil, Donghyuck doesn't double check to make sure no one watching them, staff and students alike. He simply has a bright smile on his face, enthralled to be able to spend time alone with Taeil after such a long time.

The older man, however, tenses immediately upon contact with Donghyuck. As a teacher, he could get into some serious trouble if someone saw this, but of course Donghyuck wouldn't pay any mind to that. Taeil knows that Donghyuck would do whatever it took to be with him, to spend time with him and to give him a hug. And he likes being with Donghyuck too, he likes hanging out with the younger boy and giving him hugs back. He misses Donghyuck so much, and he regrets every second of his life after signing those divorce papers. Donghyuck was, still is, the light of Taeil's entire, pathetic, life. And he still stupidly signed those papers, which revoked him of the right to watch Donghyuck grow up. And Taeil hates that.

So yeah, he does understand why sometimes Donghyuck leaves flowers on his desk, gives him random hugs here and there, drags him out to hang out, and treats him like he's still his dad, even going as far as to give him gifts on father's day. He gets it, he does. But every time, he has to act like it's a nuisance. That Donghyuck is irritating. Because Taeil has a position to hold up. Has a job to maintain, has money to make to support himself and his apartment. It may not seem like a big deal, seeing as Youngho is the one who could get him fired. Because of his past with Donghyuck and Youngho, the possibility of him getting fired because of Donghyuck was slim to none.

But other students? Rumours? Taeil would be ruined, his reputation and everything. And that's something he can't afford. Can't deal with that, and would never want to deal with that. He's beyond tired of hiding how much he just wants to tell Donghyuck he loves him, but he can't. He can't hurt his position, and he can't hurt Donghyuck. Taeil and Donghyuck... They can never be together again.

"Donghyuck, it's Mr. Moon to you," Taeil chastises, with no fire at all. Donghyuck's heard this phrase a million times before, but nothing will ever stop him from thinking that Taeil is his parent. Taeil is his dad who helped raised him into the boy he is today. Taeil loves his makeup, loves his skirts and always used to tell Donghyuck how beautiful he looked. Donghyuck could only dream to hear those words again, but if he can spend time with Taeil, then he's satisfied with that. For the time being.

"It's Taeil to me." And Taeil has heard this a million times before as well. Every time, it takes everything in him not to say, "No. It's Papa to you."

"Let's go get ice cream Taeil, do you still like rocky road?" If Donghyuck could make Taeil happy for even a little while, with the aid of ice cream, then he will.

In this moment, Taeil is hit with the heart wrenching memory of him and Donghyuck always buying a tub of rocky road ice cream, sharing and devouring the tub within minutes. They would do this every Friday, and if Taeil could, he'd buy Donghyuck all the rocky road ice cream in the world.

But Youngho doesn't pay him enough for that.

"Of course," he settles on answering instead. He's more lax as they make their way to a quaint little ice cream shop, as he doesn't have to worry about seeing anyone from school. Not a lot of students head over to this part of town, especially at this hour. And seeing staff here? People roaming around this area who were above the age of twenty was practically unheard of.

"Of course you do," Donghyuck giggles, scuffing his white tennis shoes across the ground. "You haven't changed. You're still boring."

Taeil has to scoff at that.

"As if. You still have the same sense of style, Donghyuck."

And Taeil isn't wrong.

The light blue skirt Donghyuck is wearing, accompanied with a black t-shirt on his torso, with matching fishnets of course, is strikingly similar to the style of clothes Taeil remembers buying Donghyuck for birthdays and Christmases.

Donghyuck hasn't changed a lot. He still does his makeup the same, dresses the same and has the same bright personality. On the outside at least. He knows that Donghyuck is more muted than before, more reserved and dare Taeil say, more fake. There aren't a lot of people who know the real Donghyuck, the selective few being Jeno, Taeil himself, and maybe Youngho. Taeil doesn't know much about the latter anyways.

"You're right," Donghyuck agrees, suddenly tightening his hold on Taeil arms. They're around the same height, so Donghyuck doesn't hesitate to turn his head and kiss Taeil's cheek. It's been so long since he has, so it really catches Taeil off guard.

However, he can't say that he isn't endeared. Taeil really, really missed this.

"I love you, Papa." Donghyuck says, a bit softer than his usual tone.

And you know what? Maybe Taeil should indulge in Donghyuck more often,

"I love you too, Hyuckie."

If the way Donghyuck's eyes sparkle at the confession says consistent.