loading......99.9% "Beast" [#Wattys2022]

51

Weeks after he was gone my eyes stared at the old messages. I hugges his things like he said.

I thought I was the only person he loved in his life. I only had one person and his direction but sadly we didn't shared the same goals.

I waited for him like a wife waiting for his husband's call. I was so offended by him mentioning other girls names.

Matilda the one like skeleton is really cute?

Is she cuter than me?

I let my hair down.

No, Its not like I'm jealous.  I'm just saying, is she cuter than me?

I pouted, this is insane.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

"Ya! You better be cute or else I'll break your legs instead of his."

It was weird. But I was a positive person throughout skin to bone unless something provokes me purposely.

I found a meaningful acronym the one I can use to tease Zen with but only I will knew the meaning. Universal. Universe, and love.  When you love someone you compare him with all the beauty of not just the world but universe. The galaxy the stars the moon the whole milky way.

My man was like the most sparkling star in the universe.

It was the third week. I didn't heard from him and it was march.

The seasonal changes made me sick.

"What's her temperature? Mom asked."

"Pretty high!"

My bp was low and my voice was gone. My flue was intense.

Life was uni, work stress and home.

"Naomi!" Angela touched my forehead. "You are burning."

"Here take this!"

"You.. are not a doctor." I managed to say these words after struggling.

My life went mute. I was talkative and not being able to speak was a punishment.

Still, I managed my studies. I came home tired. I threw myself on bed and I was asleep.

My phone ringed after five minutes.

I peeked with an eye and I jumped in happiness.

"Hello."

"Whose there."

"Naomi!"

It was the voice, that comforted me in any situation.

"Zen Morison."

I felt lively once again.

"Panda?"

"Its me, its just I have flu."

He paused. And he laughed at my restlessness. "Just hearing you not being able to speak." He laughed. "Is so damn cute." 

I made a sour face. "Yeah!"

"I was going to talk to you but you can't talk. It's better if you give your sore throat a rest."

I had never gave up my sleep for anyone before. But I missed his voice so I gave up my sleep just to talk to him.

"I will call you some other day. Get well soon."

I was sad. If I couldn't talk, I could have just heard you.

It's alright not everyone feels the same way.

*******

It was Angela's birthday. March, 9th. I was still sick and my throat was even worse.

My mom made me soup. But I needed a doctor. And for that my dad would give me medicines.

Sometimes I doubted if they are even working?

By evening I came back home exhausted.

I didn't even had a change of clothes and I missed on a call.

It was Zen.

"Hi!" Everytime I would hear his sweet voice. I would tell. He does not talks to me that much anymore, that's why I am sick. But everytime I hear him even just a little I felt like my battery was charged.

"I'm calling you because, someone is hearing on the phone."

What is this? I was so worried! My heart sank and my body trembled. There was a girl, she was weeping.

I gulped down empty breaths. "What happened?" I asked Zen.

Are we dating?" Zen asked me in a harsh tone.

"What?" I was speechless.

What are we Zen? Why would you do this to hurt me?

"Answer me!"

My voice trembled with pain and heartache.

"No."

"Have I ever said I love you to you."

This time, I heard a crashing sound. Something was in pieces. My heart.

You know it better than anyone, but you love giving pain and proving people that we are just two bore people having fun right? I gave myself reasons. "Something had have happened to him."

I bit my tongue. Don't make me say such treacherous words.

"No!"  I gulped down my tears.

"Are we engaged?"

"I had enough! Tell me! Who is spreading such false rumours. Answer me." This was my first time yelling at Zen.

I was so in pieces that I didn't wanted to talk anymore.

"Just rest! I will handle it."

My body felt like a piece of meat. He only cared about himself. For him, clearing himself was much of importance than of the girl who was tired and sick and not being able to speak properly.

This was the reality of love. The reality of the chemistry we had.

My phone ringed again. This time Zen was not there.

"I'm Zen's cousin and fiancee, are you both engaged?" I was shattered. My words abandoned me. My lips were nailed.

"Sweetheart, these are just rumours."

"Do you love Zen?" Even if it was a lie. I couldn't answer it.

"Do you love eachother?"

"You can ask Zen."

"You can leave him to me. I can tackle him! You are such a shameless cunt! You know everything is decided in our family. So you better know your limits."

"I told you if it was official everyone knew about it."

"Good! Now you can better get lost!"

"Rude bitch!"

I clenched my shirt. It hurts. I pointed at my chest. It is killing in here. My heart feels the fire its burning in.

I never knew I would reap what I sow.

My head would spin. This is what you do to someone who loved you unconditionally? You lie to her, let her get insulted, you abandon her when she needs you.

I hated myself. I doubted myself. I wiped my tears. I lived for you each day. I would think about you and this is what you gave?

No more tears.

"Here! Have your cough syrup."

I looked at Angela. "Thank you."

I threw the spoon as I drank all the bottle and tossed it aside.

It's better this way.

I switched my phone off and it was then darkness and the heart ache.