loading......99.9% "Beast" [#Wattys2022]

20

"How was your paper?" Jess asked.

"Bus is waiting, paper was just fine." I replied.

It was a good thing we had odd timings. I cannot see Zen, his terrible lies with pretty face. I walked with heart heavy as if all the tears were sucked up but as I walked I could feel the reason. All what I wish God, just do not let me see Zen. I cannot face a treacherous liar.

I walked, gazes on the scars on the road. Mind elsewhere. Just incase for safety so that I do not bump I looked up. I saw, who I begged God not to cross my ways with. Treacherous liar. Our eyes met and instantly I looked away, I hated the sight of him. He can do anything, with anyone. I could care least bit.

I walked like a winter wind, making sure the chills reached him. 

I do not know how day passed, what I wrote in the answer script. He was in my head. All the why's were desperately waiting to be answered. Yet I did not wanted to hear from him. The other day was not different. He did not had enough so he sat infront of the table. He wanted to show how miserable he looked. His collars uneven, shirt unevenly buttoned. Slippers on his feet, eyes full of gloomy darkness.

I took a nasty look at him and I turned away. "Why am I suppose to care?"  

Paper, today was like the one I had earlier. Trash! we were not talking but the thought of him was very much bothering. 

It was evening. I happened to take a walk where bikes were parked. I saw Zen. Miserable. What a great actor he was. And then, a few blood drops fell on the road. I looked at him with eyes shocked.

It was now concern. I repeated, why should I care? He played me through the start. Like I'm a fish, he is the hunter. All which separates us, ship and water and I who had happen to take the bait.

Every actor knows how to get the audience. And he was the most annoying.

I minded my business clinched the strap of my bag, eyes down. Knowing he was on his bike right on the entrance.

Instinct hissed in my ears. He ignored me, way before the thought occured to me.

It would be wrong to say, I was bothered. As I passed I realized. The feeling I had troubles with. He was truly a player and, when players are not heartless.

***************

A few steps, and I was exhausted. It was the time, when the sky was dark the moonlight goddess was hissing in the air. I sat, where I could see the night sky and the night sky could hear me. I looked on my left and I recalled it is, indeed very long since I intended to write a huge list of troubling things. As the breeze blew against my cheeks I scratched the ball point with the surface of the paper. 

"Life has always unknown plans for us. I thought, life is a little too greedy, it needed suspense and we were all part of its game. I have seem to be deviated from the path I had once chosen. Everything, like a puzzle in my life is messed and the annoying reason behind is "the untamed beast."  Sometimes people take fun too far, they care less who is going to get hurt in the process. I thought I have seen all the worst types, but the worst of them was waiting for me right here. If the bondage of two emotions is defined as love then I wish I could never feel such humiliation. Emotion is like a bird in cage once you let it go, you may feel empty but  you will never know what happened to the bird you kept for long. It all started with an amusingly idiomatic way. Two survivors trying to read eachother. Broken by love and perhaps telling eachother love is the only cure to heal. But love is just a fantasy, it is a curse for those who are slaves to their heart." 

Sometimes, most of all, tonight. It happened there was a guy everyone knew him as the beast, player, and of many names I do not wish to write. His tale of being a loner was very famous. Everyone who knew beast, knew his tale. When I heard of him. I hated him. When he walked around me, I knew he stalked me. But occasionally, when I stared in his eyes, I could see things I recalled people telling me. Sad eyes. I wanted to hear his story. And nature arranged  a meeting for us. When I heard him, honestly. I felt attached, like a girl stuck somewhere on the cliff thinking of jumping through. All that occurred to me was, the me, alone, sad and looking for someone to pull me and tell me my worth. That is what, I had aimed to do. At first, I was in my own fantasy of knowledge where I thought only I knew his story, but Leah and many more knew it with better versions. I do not know which version he told me. But it was quite entertaining. He was very professional it took him just a week to get in my head. I had sympathy which later turned into great empathy. I thought, it is my job as a friend to help him. But I never knew his arrows could struck my heart to bleed. I thought of him very differently, Leah was always so firm about her thought of him, which had sometimes made me doubt. I would never believe unless I see it with my very own good eyes. So it kept happening, Monday, Tuesday, and with every passing day. You would see him with every kind of girl. 

What always bothered me, his continuous darting even when he was with his girls. And then one day he finally said. I might have friends but two are very special. One of them is Wenson. Naomi Wenson. I was shook, I felt differently. I had never thought pick up lines could be moderate too. Life was fine, until I realized one fine night all what I knew was what he fed me. The stupidity of  me being manipulated was a gross insult. I never wanted more explanations because what I told  him was part of my sincerity  and what he told me lacked it to he core.

That day and this day. I found out his first best, Isabelle who was someone special to him. Rumor had it, he fell for her. Could it be her eyes that sparkle. All I had was, is she going to tell him to stop talking to me? perhaps all the girls? If I remember it was my oath. But then it was the mutual thought we shared so I started getting my thoughts together. I realized a liar deserves a liar. I am not mother Terresa and I should maintain my boundaries. But then the pain in my chest told me a different version of my story. The one that said. 'Fish in the trap.'