Thorned Rose // chae hyungwon (#31)

Eight

Hyungwon

I don't like it when girls show their tears, it is more like I have a fear of them crying, I don't know the reason why they cried nor the reason why they have to cry at that exact moment. I am someone who doesn't cry that easily and even if I cry, it is not on impulse and I will cry secretly without anyone finding out about it.

I just didn't like to cry, it is a form of weakness and many people argue that it is not but it is to me. People avoided me when I cry as a kid, they said that I am a nuisance in their eyes and crying adds up to that. Adults don't like crying children, they said that they are noisy and it ruins their mood as the child keeps on crying and crying, it is because it doesn't stop that it becomes annoying to them. And as a child, I was told never to cry but I envied those people who could cry this easily, they are able to express their feelings better and there is me, struggling to even cry.

I once didn't cry for a whole year and I almost feel like dying, I feel nothing inside and I became very depressed. I didn't know how I couldn't cry and I tried all kinds of ways to trigger me to have those feelings flow out of me, if I don't cry, I might suffer even more so I had no choice. What made me cry was when my roommate played a movie for me, a very sad movie that made me cry for a good 2 hours and that was the last time that I ever cried that hard, it was a year ago.

I wished that I could be like Woo Yiwon, she could cry like that in the public and I can't even do that. Compared to her, I'm more like a weakling because she could cry like nobody's business. I gave her all the tissues that I have and she used it all up, wiping her tears away and blowing her nose. How hard did she actually cry?

I opened the door to the apartment that I shared with my roommate and boss and he is not back from work yet, he will be back in a few hours and that should give Woo Yiwon enough time to get her emotions and feelings back in control. I have already notified that Woo Yiwon is going to live with us for a while and he is fine with the idea of having another person to occupy our common living space and especially the fact that she is a female, if her condition is alright, I would've just asked her to get her own accommodation but she lost her memories and she has no family, she is searching for her boyfriend as well and I have no idea where or who that person is.

So I have no choice but to let her tag along with me for a while until her condition stabilizes and she is able to sustain herself with her own money that she would be earning, and also if she could find her boyfriend during this time as well so that he can bring her back home with her and my problem will be solved instantly.

"You can sleep in this room, for now, it used to be my bedroom but now I am sleeping with Kihyun, the owner of this apartment." I pointed my finger towards my bedroom which has now become her room and I will sleep with Kihyun which he will very happy, I don't know why he is willing to allow a female to stay in our already cramped apartment, it took him one week for me to stay with him but it took less than a day for him to say yes to Woo Yiwon. He is indeed very biased towards the female population and I feel so offended being the same gender as him.

"Thanks..." She said with her swollen eyes, she only stopped crying a moment ago when we were reaching home. I wonder how long she hasn't cried to be crying this much?

"No need to thank me, this is what I should do as you... Boyfriend?" She finally smiled when I said that, I guess that I would have to pretend to be her boyfriend for the time being before her real boyfriend comes back to her life.

But if her boyfriend really loved and cared for her, why isn't he here to take her with him? Why hasn't he appeared yet? I suddenly had a thought in my mind. What if she is already being dumped by her boyfriend before she lost her memories? That could be a perfect reason why he hasn't come to take care of her in the past 6 months of her hospitalization and why he is not around at all, that must be so sad that she can't ever remember that she already broke up with the guy that she loved so much.

"Yes? Is there anything else?" She looked with that eagerness that she is waiting for my response and I shook my head.

"You may rest, for now, I'll let you know when it is dinner time. It may not be the most glamorous food ever but you have to eat to survive." I may have a little budget to put aside to take care of someone if I save money on a lot of things but I can't say the same about our food expenses. She definitely is not in good condition to be able to look for a job and earn her own money, I still have to take care of her well-being, for the time being, making sure that her needs are met and she is happy as well.

She might have met one of the poorest and incapable benefactors in this world and she could've found someone else to take care of her but since she is with me now, I would have to make sure that she is tip-top condition before she regains her memories.