Bad Love | z.d.j

Baby, tell me who we think we're pleasin', I wanna be with you

ZABDIEL

🥀

"You can't do that," Joel coldly responded in a defensive manner. "I don't see why you think that's the right thing to do."

Zabdiel stayed silent, blankly staring at his clenched fists. Richard took a quick glance at Joel before softly pitching in. "I'm with Joel on this one."

"I'll hurt her more if I stay with her," Zabdiel mumbled, frustrated that deep down his feelings didn't concede with his words.

"How though?" Richard asked, annoyed at Zabdiel's stubbornness.

"People talk Richard," Zabdiel snapped. "They always talk about how she can do better or how much of a slut she is just because she's with me. They criticize her not me. Does that make sense to you?"

"Yeah but-" Joel tried to butt in but Zabdiel wasn't having it.

"And her parents," Zabdiel grumbled. "We've been keeping our relationship from them. It's been five months. I know she wants to tell them but I can't let her. Can you imagine what they'll do when they find out? They'll lose their trust in her and probably prevent her from doing many things because of me."

The room fell silent for a brief moment, Joel and Richard didn't exactly think of the consequences of their friends relationship. They both knew that Zabdiel really did like Sophia but sometimes Zabdiel's mind always won instead of his feelings.

"So you're going to break up with her?" Joel mumbled with a sad sigh.

"Yes, I don't wanna hurt her."

"Yo pero... didn't you guys like... spend the night after prom?" Richard asked.

Zabdiel shifted in his seat, clearing his throat before shrugging. "Yeah?"

"She's going to think you used her," Joel said as he caught onto what Richard was thinking.

"Used her?"

"Yeah bro," Richard coldy chuckled. "You slept with her like a week ago and now you're going to dump her? Even though that's not the case, everyone is going to assume that. She'll hate you."

Zabdiel hadn't thought about that but it did give him an idea. "She should."

"No," Joel said. "Don't even think about doing that."

"It'll make her forget about me easier. She'll want to let go," Zabdiel said before standing up. "I'll see you guys later."

"Zabdiel-" Joel tried to stop him but Zabdiel already had his mind set.

Richard sighed. "What a dumbass."

🥀

Zabdiel didn't want to give his final decision any much thought because he knew that if he kept overthinking it he would end up backing down. He was trying to keep a cold mindset. He knew what her reaction would be but he didn't want to think about it. He tried to recall his attitude toward her when they weren't dating, when he barely talked to her or even smiled at her. He had to bring that back but the more he attempted to get into character, the more discouraged he felt.

"Zab," the voice he had been awaiting for called out to him. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" He mumbled, not even glancing up at her.

Sophia was taken back at his unusual grumpy tone. "You said it was very important."

"Yes. What I have to tell you is very important."

Sophia approached him, taking a seat on the bench and scooting close to him but he quickly stood up. "What-"

"I can't be with you anymore. I can't do this anymore. It's tiring, it stresses me out and it's a drag. I can't be with someone I know I don't love."

Sophia stared at him wide-eyed, shocked at his words. Her soft eyes were clouded with an ugly shadow and the glossiness of them only made the image easier to imprint in his mind. Her lips trembled as she looked at him confused and unable to speak. She stood up and tried to get close to him but he moved back.

"What are you talking about?" she weakly asked. "You don't..."

The tears began to roll down her cheeks, she softly sniffled and bit her lips. He couldn't look at her. Sophia was his vulnerability. She was his weak spot. He was very much capable of telling her he's lying and say sorry so they'd go back to the way it was just to make her stop crying but if he didn't do this, she'd end up more hurt than she was now.

"You were there when Janella and I broke up. You were simply a temporary fix and that's what you'll stay as. Not even sleeping with you changed anything in me."

Sophia didn't move. Her mascara was smudged at the corner of her eyes and her nose had become runny. She was completely silent. It was one of the first times that Zabdiel couldn't read what's on her mind.

"Let's break up."

Zabdiel diverted his eyes from her and sighed. He turned around and left.