Bad Love | z.d.j

I wish they know just how I felt, think they'd be ready to adore you

SOPHIA

🥀

Saturday's were quite relaxing because I was able to spend the day home or go out. For the past week I had been feeling both physically and mentally drained. The extra hours and the feigning of being alright in front of everybody (especially my parents) was really getting to me. My mom did notice it more but I had my job as an excuse and it suited my change perfectly well.

Images of that night wasn't letting me sleep or even close my eyes for a second. Her hand in his, his arms around hers, and not to mention her wearing his purple shirt. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to march over to his house and choke him. My mind did nothing else but curse at him and lament the time wasted on him but removing such an immense love wasn't easy.

"You're going out?"

I hadn't been going out weekends the last two weeks, simply staying home and walking around like a zombie. My parents found this weird as well since I was almost never home during the day on weekends. They didn't exactly question me as to why I was staying home but they knew something was up.

"I feel restored," I smiled at my mom who wouldn't stop scanning my face with her sharp eyes.

"You look much better, beba," my dad smiled at me. "Are you meeting up with Lola?"

"Yeah, I'll be back around two. Is that fine?"

My mom sighed, waving her hand before going back to her novela. "Vaya con Dios."

🥀

"Where do you get these cute ass skirts?"

"Romwe."

Lola made a promise to herself that she wouldn't speak about Zabdiel anymore. Whenever we talked, she never pointed out how tired I looked or how sensitive I had become. I was grateful to her because I knew I looked like trash but it was nice that no one called me out on it. I pulled myself out of it a little and began to dress up once again. Styling outfits made me extremely giddy and it usually boosted up my confidence.

"Did you meet your college advisor?"

I timidly smiled, looking away from her and rocking a bit in my spot. "Tomorrow."

"You gotta girl," Lola said as she took a bite from her cheesecake. "It's July and people register early."

College seemed like a fresh start for me. I considered myself lucky that this didn't happen while we were still in high school because it would've been harder on me. Zabdiel didn't go to school anymore since he decided that college just wasn't for him. Then, I tried to talk him into registering for the same college I was going to but thank god he didn't budge.

"I'm going tomorrow at ten. Can you come with me?"

Lola barely puckered her lips and shook her head. "I have a stupid dentist appointment tomorrow at 9:30. If you would've scheduled the same day I did this wouldn't be a problem."

"I know mom. I was going through a rough patch."

"I know I'm just playing with you. Look at the bright side... you can get to know the campus."

"This is good," I said as I interlocked my fingers. "Starting college without a boyfriend is less distracting."

"Exactly," Lola agreed. "You get your degree girl!"

"I really don't know what expect. Our teachers always say that college professors are more harsh and strict but remember that's what our middle school teachers said about high school?"

"I think they just won't push us as much. It up to you if you wanna succeed. College students say they're more laid back."

"It's not that I don't do my work but I'm so anxious."

"We'll get through it, don't worry. By the way... Joel told me you bumped into him a couple days ago. I know we don't like to talk about him but I know you probably felt so many things that night and had no one to vent to. Wanna tell me about it or...?"

Though I preferred the topic to be avoided, Lola was right. I didn't say much to my coworkers nor did I vent on my phone in my notes app. I literally just cried under my covers until I fell asleep.

"I really really hate him, Lola," I hoarsely replied. "I just wanted to yell at him and tell him to stop lying. I can't get it out of my head Lola. I know he truly loved me but... how could he go back to her? Lola, something in me is telling me that he's lying but I can't understand why."

"Sophie..." Lola gazed at me sympathetically. "I don't want to hurt your feelings and I understand how hard this is but don't you think it's just your heart still being in denial?"

"I think I have to talk to him."

"What!?" Lola exclaimed, attracting a few eyes on us. "Sophia-"

"I need closure okay? Plus, that ass didn't even let me say anything. He just said let's break up and bye."

"I just don't want you to hurt yourself more."

"I won't. I'll go tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? But you have your-"

I rolled my eyes. "I know. I'm going before that."

"Are you sure of this?"

"Me va escuchar."

🌼

long time to no see lol

i need to hurry with this one.

i am writing the next chapter already 😌