Despicable! • JUNHAO

PART SIX.

「ｊｕｎ」

I sit with Minghao, on the opposite end of his futon in the dark. He pours tea after getting up, and I wait patiently, head throbbing.

"..I've heard about you, you know." I start, not waiting for awkward silence to form. 

"Love her then leave her. That's what they say about me— if not love HIM then leave him. It's all the same. I'm sure you knew to stay away, it's what they all say. Why did you come to the sandwich shop that day?"

I sigh. "I haven't really heard about you. My acquaintance, a boy next to me in psych class had gone out with you then gotten his heart broken recently. I heard the mantra, yes, but those sort of things are rubbish. Anyone will do anything to give the skinny to those who will listen. I'll only listen to you, Hao."

It's silent for a second.

"How bold of you, Wen Junhui."

I rest my head in my palm. "You researched me?"

He looks down.

"Uhm, yeah. Figured if I didn't know you before I should know you when you wake up.."

I take a moment to process that. He got those papers awful fast, unless—

"How long has it been since I came to your work?"

Followed by silence, the boy began to whine again.

I pat his shoulder, his hands gripping his hair.

"I won't be mad, Hao. Tell me what's happening please."

He sniffs. "I didn't know what to do! I didn't know what to do with you or how you would react when you woke up, so I- I drugged you. Only a few times! But it's 9 pm, and you came to the shop yesterday- I'm sorry!"

I lean over and hug the boy once more.

A part of me knows, this is wrong, so wrong.

And yet it only compels me to continue forward with my sins.

I forgave him. I comforted him. Learned of him.

Hour after hour passed til I figured the darkness outside was the only thing to exist outside of the candle lit room. And in this belief, I turned my back to Mingyu, to Joshua, and all who opposed the poor Xu Minghao.

"So, basically you thought I was an associate of your grandfather, yes? Do his men want to track you down for some reason?" I ask this to him, but more importantly try to make sense of the violence.

"Well yes, you can say that. Something of the sorts. I know it stemmed my attacking, I prefer we don't discuss him here, now."

I nod.

"Say, why do you sleep with people?"
I ask this while straining my neck to look at his face. I lay on my back now, arms above my head with the calmer boy perpendicular to my body, his head on my chest.

"As you can figure, I'm not so brave and I'm not so smart. I can be both, to an extent, but I can't be both. No, I never can be. When I do it.. either love or leave, I'm in control. Plus, I'm lonely. Just me here in this old house. No family, no nothing anymore."

It's in the word control, where I hear the strain of the venom in his words.

"It's all I've ever wanted and I had to take it for myself in many ways. Sex is the only ethical way."

"God, but you're so powerful. Don't speak about yourself that way" I scold. "Hell, yesterday you whammed someone on the head to protect your school record. I've never met someone who was willing to take fate so deep into their hands like that. It's so alluring— you're so alluring. I don't think I'll stay away from you how, regardless of how we met."

His head turned to look me in the eyes.

"My actions will catch up to me some day, Junhui. And you will find a better man than I am."

I stroke his hair.

"We've accomplished so much in a night— this bonding would take others weeks. I think I am going to need you after this, Minghao."

He closes his eyes, deeming that we should now sleep.

"I cannot keep away from you, Jun. Just a look at you and I can't manage to manipulate you as I do others. You've got me on a leash.

So trust me.
One day, I'll be doing you a favor."

I left that night with a sudden release from that lingering smell as I left the building.

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