Despicable! • JUNHAO

PART SEVENTEEN.

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「ｊｕｎ」

"How much does it actually matter! No matter what, he's dead!"

"Minghao, you're not being reasonable!"

This is how I'm spending my Friday night— arguing with my partner over the motive of one of his many murders.

I follow him from room to room through his home as he paces with frustration, and I reach out for his arm to swing him around.

"You're only making yourself seem more suspicious! Tell me, what did Jeonghan do to you?!" I finish.

Minghao huffs. "Nothing, okay?!"

I freeze.

"Huh?"

"He did absolutely nothing. It was that Friday you insisted to go back to Mingyu's and I—"

I back up.

"Jun.. you know I love you! I love you so much! I have control with you, but without.. I just got a bit upset! I'm okay now.. but I felt myself going blind.. I needed release."

I squint and shake my head. "What does that mean? What did you do?"

He drops his head.

"I was blowing off steam.. I was on a walk just after the sun went down when I saw Jeonghan walk out of a small apartment just off Maine street.. Seongcheol was opening the door and was shirtless. I was jealous. And I was already upset and losing my temper as I saw Jeonghan walk away—"

He stops before he gets too upset, evident in his tense expression.

".. so you killed him. Because he had sex, when I haven't had it with you yet?"

I ask this calmly, contrasting the response I get.

"It was a low moment! I'm fine with it now, I swear! I don't need it— it had just been so long! I'm sorry.. I'm sorry Jun!" He cries.

I look inside myself for a moment. Something.. doesn't
  feel right.

Minghao is a person with low empathy and indefinitely his own morals, not including any of an average person.

I don't particularly care that Jeonghan is dead in a negative way, nor that Seungcheol or others are supposedly suffering under these circumstances.
But.. am I okay with the terms in which he died?

I don't want to say it, but—

"I don't think it's okay that you killed him without cause." I finally confirm.

Minghao looks taken aback.

"But.. but you don't care that I kill.. you like it!"

"I do, as well as I like your reasons!" I explain. "But this.. you could've came to me about it. But you're just adding more to your plate and causing injustice and complications. What you did— it's— you're— despicable!"

At first I almost regret what I said— but then I nod to myself. I know I'm true to myself.

Minghao begins to walk again. Forwards, back, then forwards again. Indecisive of his next move, he comes up to me and places both of his hands on my shoulders.. looks into me.

"You can still be something great then." He barely whispers, his eyebrows furrowing.

"This has gone too far."

"I'm glad you see that.." I smile slightly, raising my hand to stroke his cheek. He leans into the touch, but looks hurt.

"I thought you were the fire that I was burning in.. but I might have just been burning you this whole time, refusing to believe it.