Despicable! • JUNHAO

PART NINE.

「ｊｕｎ」

The past two weeks now my life has consisted of lunch in the day with Minghao, followed by meeting at his house later that night, talking over tea until the early morning hours.

Yet that strange smell still lingers.

One thing I've learned is that Minghao seems to live in a trance inside himself. I noticed this the first moments I met him— I could recall later on the way he acted several times more as he presented the same behavior. He functions like a normal person does, but moves about inside of his head, room to room in a world of philosophy he's built for himself.
An escape, a fantasy, a coping mechanism, this world could be any of these things. I've yet to learn.

Another lesson I've reflected from is that Minghao tends to refer to some sort of behavior of his as going blind. He only refers to this at times when he references when he has lost full control of his actions. He's yet to go blind with me yet. I hope he never will.

I hope this as I enter his house, a key being given to me at this point. I'm greeted by the now familiar and bearable odor as I go to the room I know he will be in.

"Hey, Hao. Sorry I'm late, almost didn't make it tonight. Mingyu was complaining that I'm never there anymore, and he's lonely. Boy needs to make some new friends" I sigh.

Minghao shrugs.
"I've noticed he's been more hostile the past few days. Not only that, but, that boy next to you in your psych class, whatever his name is, gives quite the ugly glare when I wave at you these days."

I stop my movements for a moment as I settle on the futon.

"Sorry, but you've gone on a date with him, no? In fact, the very first time I had heard your name be spoken, it came out of his mouth."

He freezes, then smiles crookedly.

"Of course, yes, Joshua. I wasn't sure how you would feel about my previous relations with him- not that we even had any relations- but I apologize for feigning innocence." He drops his head awkwardly.

I pat his falling hair. "It's okay, Hao. You've never done anything to me with malice intentions."

As I say this, his head lays in my lap.

"Oh, Junhui. I don't need sex to be in control when I'm with you. I don't think I need control at all. I just need you. Sorry if that had come off as strong. I just.. being with you makes me feel like I'm not the person that I am. Like I haven't done the things I've done."

I roll my eyes. "Hao, as far as I've known you, you've been amazing. You're good to yourself, most of the time. You take what you want when you want it. It's so admirable."

"I don't know.."

"Hey, just because Mingyu and Josh dont see it doesn't mean it's not true."

"I want you to stay away from Joshua."

I blink. "What?"
.
.
I shake my head and reiterate.

"I mean, if you think it's for the best, sure. We're not close anyways."

I feel his smile against my thigh before he falls asleep.

  The next morning, I'm confronted by Joshua in the hallway.

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