It's My Fault

Chapter 19

Rose ended up leaving a couple minutes after her mom left and I hadn't opened the box but I had left it on my bed. I ignored it for most of the day until my dad came home for lunch to switch jobs. "Hey dad." I smiled and walked to him giving him a hug. He hugged back and tiredly sighed. I pulled away and said, "Hard day today?" He nodded,took off his jacket, and hung it up. I said, "Go take a nice hot shower I'll make some food for us." He smiled and hugged me again, "Thank you honey." I smiled and tapped his back, "Alright dad go, food will be done by the time you are out." He chuckled and walked to his room. I turned and walked to the kitchen to get started on the food. I leaned against the oven and put my hand under my chin, "What am I going to make?" I looked around the kitchen and in the fridge to see what I had. I could make burritos? Oo nachos are good. I shook my head at the thought No it could get dad's white shirt dirty. I think the burritos will work best. I nodded to myself and got out all the ingredients for it. 20 minutes later the food was ready and my dad came out with his white button up and black trousers. He was doing the last couple of buttons when he looked up and smiled at me. I motioned to the burritos behind me, "Food is ready as I said." He chuckled and walked towards me kissing the top of my head, "Thank you honey they look good." We both walked over and took our burritos. My dad started to dig in while I watched amused, "Jeez dad I didn't realize how hungry you are." He tried smiling with his mouth full and I cracked up laughing. He quickly finished the rest of it and kissed the top of my head, "I have to go honey I'll see you later." He pulled me into a hug and squeezed a bit having me hugging him back and he pulled away and left. I heard his car until he was out of earshot.

I ate my burrito slowly while I leaned against the counter. I looked at the time and saw it was already 3 in the afternoon. I should see what's in that box now. Eating the last piece of my burrito I walked to my room and closed the door behind me. I opened the box and was met with a familiar smell. Looking in I saw that the box had nothing but Rose's shirts and hoodies neatly folded. My eyes started to tear up and I slowly started to take it all out of the box. At the very bottom of the box there was a piece of paper. I wiped my eyes and picked up the paper unfolding it and started reading the little note.

If you are reading this then something that I never thought would happen, well happened. You probably are going to think it's your fault. But just know it wasn't, and don't try to argue with me on this I know how stubborn you are. But anyway I want you to have all this stuff. I don't want them to sit and be unused. See you later Ellie I am still here when you need me.
-Love Rose

Tears fully started falling and I laughed a bit at the note but started crying harder. I grabbed one of her hoodies and put it on and her sent filled my nostrils making me sob harder. I ended up grabbing my phone and texted Grace to come over. She said she would be over in 10 minutes so I crawled onto my bed and curled up into a ball. I cried and cried until the doorbell rang. I walked over to the door and opened it. Once Grace realized what state I was in I was pulled into a tight hug. She rubbed my back while I cried into her shoulder, "Ellie what's wrong?" I held onto her tighter and sobbed, "H-hurts." She didn't say anything afterwards other than move us inside and closed the door with her foot. She pulled away and said, "Lets go to your bed." I nodded and she took my hand leading me to my room. She moved the shirts and hoodies on my bed and laid down. I quickly laid my head on her chest and continued to cry while Grace ran her right hand through my hair while her left was rubbing my back in soothing circles. I cried for who knows how long and Grace didn't press once she just simply held me and waited until I had stopped crying completely. I was aimlessly tracing shapes on her stomach when I had finally stopped crying. She needs to know. With a hoarse voice I asked, "What time is it?" Grace stopped rubbing my back and said, "5:30pm why?" I sat up and wiped my face with Rose's hoodie sleeve, "I want to show you something. But we are leaving now." Grace sat up and gave me a questioning glance but agreed anyway. I got off the bed and put on my shoes while Grace did the same and I grabbed my stuff and we both left. I figured I would take her through my special spot. I hadn't said anything since we left the house and I could tell Grace was concerned but still didn't ask. After a little while I turned to go next to the construction. I heard Grace stop for a second but I continued to walk. "Uh Ellie I don't think we are allowed to be here." I didn't say anything and continued to walk through the covering. I stood and waited for Grace to come through which didn't take very long considering I heard her running over. "Ellie where did you... Wow."

She looked around the clearing while I just watched her expressions. She was in awe which is what I expected and I smiled at her when she got closer to the water. I noticed she closed her eyes and took in everything around her. "This is my special place. Only Rose and you know about this place." Grace turned around to look at me, "Why are you showing me this?" I looked around and then back at her, "This wasn't the only thing I was going to show you. I thought about this for a long time and I figured you should know. You have a right to know everything." She raised a eyebrow at me and I motioned for her to follow me. I grabbed a handful of flowers and heard Grace starting to walk behind me. We walked through the trail that Rose and I had made from walking through there so often. "Ellie where exactly are we going? What else are you going to show me?" I pulled Rose's hoodie over my nose and inhaled her sent. It calmed me down and I continued to walk. When the clearing of the cemetery was in view Grace seemed to get it. She walked next to me in silence while I led her to my mom's gravestone. Once we got in the row I offered my hand to Grace. She took it and I walked her over to the gravestone. "Grace this is my mom. Mom this is Grace a very good friend of mine. I decided it was time to finally show you to her." I let go of her hand and set her flowers down on top. I looked over at Grace and she looked like she understood everything, "Hello Mrs. Miller I'm so happy to meet you. It's a late meeting but a meeting nonetheless. You raised your daughter very well. She's a great person." She turned to look at me and I pulled her into a hug and smiled against her shoulder. I pulled away and motioned to the stone next to my mother's and that's when my face fell. "Oh Ellie."